By Stephen - 24/03/2012 21:07 - Sweden

Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 244
You deserved it 3 894

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Thats when you say, "You should see the other guy."

It's like sponge bob when he can't get his toothpaste open with a wrench and the toothpaste cap hit his eye and he makes up a bunch of lies that he beat someone up.

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what they don't know won't hurt them OP!

Noooo!!! OP must tell them the truth, lest they get beaten by the doorknobs as well... They're watching us all...

Hey, we don't know if OP was in a fight and the other guy smacked his head into a door, therefore giving OP a black eye via doorknob. But who knows? I'm just a random internet person, and so are you. But still, it had to hurt either way, even though tripping into a doorknob is much more humiliating than getting your head smacked into one in a fight. And who knows? Maybe the guy OP "fought" had a gym membership? I'm gonna stop here before I start saying random crap... ;)

I dunno... I'd rather tell them it was a doorknob than have them think I got beat up.

unless it's a doorknob

Doornob abuse is no laughing matter. Lies and stories will not keep the truth covered for long. Speak out about your doornob abuse... Call now: 1-800-555-3475

Doorknob* excuse my typo's

Thats when you say, "You should see the other guy."

Stranger: "what happened?" Victim: "I got into a fight with a doorknob, it went for a cheap shot."

The "other guy" for me was a soccer ball, from when I was 10. Soccer balls hurt when kicked, hard, and hit you square in the eye, especially if the kicker is only a yard away from you.

Awh I hate when things like that happen

I doubt this has happened to you 3. Stop using that phrase, it's over used.

I did receive a black eye from an inanimate object recently and kept getting asked what happened. So yeah I kinda do hate when it happens...

Also number 6 I said I hate when things like that happen. Things like that happen alot.

6- #1-I curse you for making me lose the game. #2- she said she hates it when things LIKE that happen. As in, things similar to OP's situation. And I don't understand what's so hard to believe.

55- not worth arguing with idiots, just leave it be.

When a doorknob visiously attacks someone

You trip over your feet and your face hits the... A) edge of the door B) door knob C) your hand as you flail to the ground

D) All of the above

Maybe OP's girlfriend punched him and he's even scared to tell FML... This could be a cry for help people!

(please read in a Billy Mays voice, as a tribute to him) OP! Listen closely- don't let your gf threaten you, she may one day kill you! If you act fast, you can SURVIVE! Please call 1-800-FINISHHER for more information. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! If you call now, you'll get a FRE, that's right, FREE, "Don't mess with me!" button! But hurry, this is a limited time offer! So act fast!

Unless you're extremely short how were you attacked by a door knob?

They aren't all low down on the door like in America. Try being less ignorant.

He tripped and fell on it? Bent down to pick something up and caught his eye on the knob on the way up?

On the way up from being bent over that means you'd have to be looking up to hit it I'm just a little confused

Dominic shut up, "like in America," im sick of that bullcrap that people say about america, we risk our lives for other countries, we save millions of lives, we have our downsides, but we have more upsides, shut your mouth

Guess I figured I'd hit my head before my eye if I fell. And #15 I've lived in four different countries and visited several more, never had a door knob at eye level unless you count when I was four years old.

23- I bet you personally do jack shit and try to claim your soldiers sacrifices as your own. I said America cause she's from America and most doors in your country have knobs low down, which is why she made her comment in the first place. Way to use my comment as an excuse to start worshipping your country and jacking off to your own nationalism. 24- so you've never seen one like that then. Next time google it and you'll see lots of examples. Simple enough.

Why would door knobs be up high?

23- We as a country do not risk our lives for other countries. There are millions of people in America that are against the wars we put ourselves in. Truthfully sometimes I wish America would stay out of other countries business. We have too many problems of our own (recession, hunger, low job availability, problems with government, etc) to be trying to tell other countries that they are wrong and invading them pushing our beliefs of how things should be run. Yes America is a great country to live in because we have opportunities other countries don't, but don't make it sound like America is the greatest because it's not.

it's an opinion, although i definitely believe that the united states is the best place to live in the world. what i dont get is why those that dont think that live here? go where you think is best. simple as that.

40- I love being an American and I love my country I just don't understand why we point out sawdust in another countries eye when we have a plank in ours.

Ok, America has a tremendous influence over countries around the world, be it positive or negative. Countries that may have things such as " higher up door knobs" do not have a large amount of influence over America, nor has many citizens ever been their. So my question is why would "Us Americans" seem ignorant for not knowing facts such as that?

48- Thank you, thank you, thank you. 23- I am from a country your country is "saving millions of lives" and "helping" and "sacraficing" for. Don't worry about America's well being. After you guys perfectly fuck up my country, steal it's wealth, destroy it's cities and kill it's helpless newborns, women and men. The bunch of low life criminals you call soldiers will return home and you will be able to enjoy your "freedom and wealth and raise puppies" after eliminating the "terrorists" and assuring the well being of your Zion god. Brainwashed ignorant shit.

You trip and hit your eye with doorknob while falling to the ground

It's like sponge bob when he can't get his toothpaste open with a wrench and the toothpaste cap hit his eye and he makes up a bunch of lies that he beat someone up.

Exactly what I thought when I read this fml.

Jack M. Crazyfish.

Rock paper scissors

"licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets" Though in this case he wasn't licking them... I don't think

Lie to the death!

I think we have a midget on our hands!

Well that was rude.

11 - Not necessarily. But so what if it is? Short people are awesome! (:

Come at me bro! *conk* *WHOOPEE*

Conk and whopee? How do those sound anything like OP's situation?

Conk sounds like a nose would be hitting the doorknob Whoopee seems like something Mario would say

Say that you took on three people at once and that your swollen eye was the only damage you took, then everyone will....adoor you

Wood you please tell me how you come up with your jokes?