Today, I was peppered with questions about my swollen eye and if I'd gotten into a fight. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been brutally beaten into submission by a doorknob. FML
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By
blackheart24
| 10
Thats when you say, "You should see the other guy."
By
sillycart
| 9
It's like sponge bob when he can't get his toothpaste open with a wrench and the toothpaste cap hit his eye and he makes up a bunch of lies that he beat someone up.
COMMENTS
By
lolololer
| 8
what they don't know won't hurt them OP!
Reply
llamafish
| 25
Noooo!!! OP must tell them the truth, lest they get beaten by the doorknobs as well...
They're watching us all...
They're watching us all...
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
Hey, we don't know if OP was in a fight and the other guy smacked his head into a door, therefore giving OP a black eye via doorknob. But who knows? I'm just a random internet person, and so are you. But still, it had to hurt either way, even though tripping into a doorknob is much more humiliating than getting your head smacked into one in a fight. And who knows? Maybe the guy OP "fought" had a gym membership? I'm gonna stop here before I start saying random crap... ;)
Reply
IphonFML
| 6
I dunno... I'd rather tell them it was a doorknob than have them think I got beat up.
Reply
fromoverthere
| 7
unless it's a doorknob
Reply
PeypeyTheBeeotch
| 1
Doornob abuse is no laughing matter. Lies and stories will not keep the truth covered for long. Speak out about your doornob abuse... Call now: 1-800-555-3475
Reply
PeypeyTheBeeotch
| 1
Doorknob* excuse my typo's
By
blackheart24
| 10
Thats when you say, "You should see the other guy."
Reply
failgamer
| 7
Stranger: "what happened?"
Victim: "I got into a fight with a doorknob, it went for a cheap shot."
Victim: "I got into a fight with a doorknob, it went for a cheap shot."
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
The "other guy" for me was a soccer ball, from when I was 10. Soccer balls hurt when kicked, hard, and hit you square in the eye, especially if the kicker is only a yard away from you.
By
lolipop1234_fml
| 7
Awh I hate when things like that happen
Reply
I_lost_the_game
| 25
I doubt this has happened to you 3. Stop using that phrase, it's over used.
Reply
lolipop1234_fml
| 7
I did receive a black eye from an inanimate object recently and kept getting asked what happened. So yeah I kinda do hate when it happens...
Reply
lolipop1234_fml
| 7
Also number 6 I said I hate when things like that happen. Things like that happen alot.
Reply
ohmandapants
| 16
6-
#1-I curse you for making me lose the game.
#2- she said she hates it when things LIKE that happen. As in, things similar to OP's situation. And I don't understand what's so hard to believe.
#1-I curse you for making me lose the game.
#2- she said she hates it when things LIKE that happen. As in, things similar to OP's situation. And I don't understand what's so hard to believe.
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
55- not worth arguing with idiots, just leave it be.
By
blueyama
| 1
How...?
Reply
ripresno
| 10
When a doorknob visiously attacks someone
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
You trip over your feet and your face hits the...
A) edge of the door
B) door knob
C) your hand as you flail to the ground
A) edge of the door
B) door knob
C) your hand as you flail to the ground
Reply
llamafish
| 25
D) All of the above
Reply
ladyLALAA
| 28
Maybe OP's girlfriend punched him and he's even scared to tell FML... This could be a cry for help people!
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
(please read in a Billy Mays voice, as a tribute to him)
OP! Listen closely- don't let your gf threaten you, she may one day kill you! If you act fast, you can SURVIVE! Please call 1-800-FINISHHER for more information. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! If you call now, you'll get a FRE, that's right, FREE, "Don't mess with me!" button! But hurry, this is a limited time offer! So act fast!
OP! Listen closely- don't let your gf threaten you, she may one day kill you! If you act fast, you can SURVIVE! Please call 1-800-FINISHHER for more information. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! If you call now, you'll get a FRE, that's right, FREE, "Don't mess with me!" button! But hurry, this is a limited time offer! So act fast!
By
micahsmommy
| 13
Unless you're extremely short how were you attacked by a door knob?
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
They aren't all low down on the door like in America. Try being less ignorant.
Reply
I_lost_the_game
| 25
He tripped and fell on it? Bent down to pick something up and caught his eye on the knob on the way up?
Reply
ripresno
| 10
On the way up from being bent over that means you'd have to be looking up to hit it I'm just a little confused
Reply
failgamer
| 7
Dominic shut up, "like in America," im sick of that bullcrap that people say about america, we risk our lives for other countries, we save millions of lives, we have our downsides, but we have more upsides, shut your mouth
Reply
micahsmommy
| 13
Guess I figured I'd hit my head before my eye if I fell.
And #15 I've lived in four different countries and visited several more, never had a door knob at eye level unless you count when I was four years old.
And #15 I've lived in four different countries and visited several more, never had a door knob at eye level unless you count when I was four years old.
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
23- I bet you personally do jack shit and try to claim your soldiers sacrifices as your own. I said America cause she's from America and most doors in your country have knobs low down, which is why she made her comment in the first place. Way to use my comment as an excuse to start worshipping your country and jacking off to your own nationalism.
24- so you've never seen one like that then. Next time google it and you'll see lots of examples. Simple enough.
24- so you've never seen one like that then. Next time google it and you'll see lots of examples. Simple enough.
Reply
staymintyfresh
| 13
Why would door knobs be up high?
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
23- We as a country do not risk our lives for other countries. There are millions of people in America that are against the wars we put ourselves in. Truthfully sometimes I wish America would stay out of other countries business. We have too many problems of our own (recession, hunger, low job availability, problems with government, etc) to be trying to tell other countries that they are wrong and invading them pushing our beliefs of how things should be run.
Yes America is a great country to live in because we have opportunities other countries don't, but don't make it sound like America is the greatest because it's not.
Yes America is a great country to live in because we have opportunities other countries don't, but don't make it sound like America is the greatest because it's not.
Reply
bball234
| 6
it's an opinion, although i definitely believe that the united states is the best place to live in the world. what i dont get is why those that dont think that live here? go where you think is best. simple as that.
Reply
hotPinklipstick
| 24
40- I love being an American and I love my country I just don't understand why we point out sawdust in another countries eye when we have a plank in ours.
Reply
thisiscat
| 14
Ok, America has a tremendous influence over countries around the world, be it positive or negative.
Countries that may have things such as " higher up door knobs" do not have a large amount of influence over America, nor has many citizens ever been their. So my question is why would "Us Americans" seem ignorant for not knowing facts such as that?
Countries that may have things such as " higher up door knobs" do not have a large amount of influence over America, nor has many citizens ever been their. So my question is why would "Us Americans" seem ignorant for not knowing facts such as that?
Reply
MisterEx
| 28
48- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
23- I am from a country your country is "saving millions of lives" and "helping" and "sacraficing" for. Don't worry about America's well being. After you guys perfectly fuck up my country, steal it's wealth, destroy it's cities and kill it's helpless newborns, women and men. The bunch of low life criminals you call soldiers will return home and you will be able to enjoy your "freedom and wealth and raise puppies" after eliminating the "terrorists" and assuring the well being of your Zion god. Brainwashed ignorant shit.
23- I am from a country your country is "saving millions of lives" and "helping" and "sacraficing" for. Don't worry about America's well being. After you guys perfectly fuck up my country, steal it's wealth, destroy it's cities and kill it's helpless newborns, women and men. The bunch of low life criminals you call soldiers will return home and you will be able to enjoy your "freedom and wealth and raise puppies" after eliminating the "terrorists" and assuring the well being of your Zion god. Brainwashed ignorant shit.
Reply
Jewlz1162
| 5
You trip and hit your eye with doorknob while falling to the ground
Reply
Kayla8795
| 2
I'm short :(
By
sillycart
| 9
It's like sponge bob when he can't get his toothpaste open with a wrench and the toothpaste cap hit his eye and he makes up a bunch of lies that he beat someone up.
Reply
fueledbyshar
| 0
Exactly what I thought when I read this fml.
Reply
nofearjenshere
| 12
Jack M. Crazyfish.
Reply
buck33
| 14
Rock paper scissors
Reply
sillycart
| 9
Awesome
Reply
john443
| 5
"licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets"
Though in this case he wasn't licking them... I don't think
Though in this case he wasn't licking them... I don't think
By
MsConfusedd
| 27
Lie to the death!
By
xJackson
| 1
I think we have a midget on our hands!
Reply
MsConfusedd
| 27
Well that was rude.
Reply
nofearjenshere
| 12
11 - Not necessarily. But so what if it is? Short people are awesome! (:
By
mrtjawesome
| 14
Come at me bro! *conk* *WHOOPEE*
Reply
failgamer
| 7
Conk and whopee? How do those sound anything like OP's situation?
Reply
btnhdude
| 0
Conk sounds like a nose would be hitting the doorknob
Whoopee seems like something Mario would say
Whoopee seems like something Mario would say
By
gonad_gobbler
| 1
Say that you took on three people at once and that your swollen eye was the only damage you took, then everyone will....adoor you
Reply
LMA0
| 5
Wood you please tell me how you come up with your jokes?