Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (166)
andreaor 7
oh hell no! if I have a son and he talked to me like that, he'd be bleeding out of his mouth. I'm 26, and if I dared to talk to my mom like that, I'd have no teeth
filiperry 13
It is at this point, when you calmly beat the child's ass
tinyalmeida 11
Wow! Sounds like ur raising a fine young misogynistic man. Also, you may have married one.
Ianamis 6
I don't think you know what a misogynist is. Like most people this day and age.
johnwilkesbooth 10
its a little funny but um??? why is your 15 year old son calling you a bitch?? what the hell?? that's.. obnoxious. i understand your husband laughing, sort of. but i mean... again, i don't think your son should call you a bitch. screw him, tbh
HallahBackGirl 12
Your son needs to learn to bite his tongue.
supasupa 1
This is terrible. Id slap them both
kittycat2007 18
YDI for raising him to talk that way. I would NEVER speak that way to an adult, let alone my parents. Why? Cause I understood that they would end me if I was that blatantly disrespectful.
shepp626 11
I get that as a mother you have a ton less influence on your son than your husband and his friends, but for the good of society in general please slap some sense into him. And you need to have a real talk with your husband about encouraging that kind of behavior, if I had EVER called my mother a bitch growing up my dad would have beat the crap out of me.
RAndEM 9
No offense but, I hate your 15 year old son.
lalaney 14
Sounds like that lesson on empathy was missed with him. I understand why you yelled at him, but perhaps if you had said "Ouch, that really hurt!" he'd have felt sympathy for you and reacted differently. If you guys are a yelling, angry family, I'm not surprised that he talks this way.
pharm121 21
Why do white people let their kids talk to them like that...
HighasaCloud 46
What makes you think that OP and her family are white?