Animals: Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my...

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 505

You deserved it 15 116

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Same thing different taste

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 270

You deserved it 283

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 891

You deserved it 4 206

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 783

You deserved it 2 675

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 813

You deserved it 3 191

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 197

You deserved it 1 398

By Anonymous - 26/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Shreveport

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 761

You deserved it 2 032

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 635

By Anonymousagb - 24/04/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 970

You deserved it 92 180

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 13:34 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 810

You deserved it 4 369

Good boy

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 23:02 - Germany

Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 132

chosenblades 8

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:53

Would you like some hershey kisses?

Ambient25 24

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:56

After all those times you pretended to throw the ball, that puppy knew payback was in order...

Comments

chosenblades 8

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:53

Would you like some hershey kisses?

diegoer 10

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:54

Lol! Next time sniff before you kiss ;)

wlddog 14

Thursday 6 June 2013 0:08

That advice can be applied to so many things in life.

tygerarmy 35

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:55

Aww, what a cute little poopy.

Ambient25 24

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:56

After all those times you pretended to throw the ball, that puppy knew payback was in order...

love2killu 21

Thursday 6 June 2013 12:29

Omfg xD best comment of today

Gvfell 9

Friday 7 June 2013 5:26

"Hmm, my owner played a trick on me, better roll around in my own shit."

Rei_Ayanami 18

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:56

I'm wondering how you didn't smell it before even seeing the dog. Puppy feces are quite pungent.

paddypurdy 7

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:57

It's all ***** and giggles until... oh wait

Kyle_Kawi27 7

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:57

Well atleast the puppy is still cute...sorry about your misfortune.

TypoH 7

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:57

Well, that's just shitty isn't it. FYL

gAt_d 26

Thursday 6 June 2013 4:12

Your a clever one, eh?

maximus_prime 24

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:58

I think you may need to see a doctor, there seems to be something wrong with your sense of smell. :-/

LadyNatasha 4

Wednesday 5 June 2013 22:58

FYL for, well... that. YDI somewhat, for not noticing the smell beforehand.

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Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 411

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 1 885

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Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 3 561

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 3 048

Today, I went to the home of a guy I was talking to on Tinder to hook up. His wife answered the door and invited me in. She wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 523

You deserved it 2 942

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 223

Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 71

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 355

You deserved it 4 804

Same thing different taste

Bad omen

Good boy

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