Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
concend_blk_guy 8
FDI, both you and your husband allows your son to use that language and he referenced you directly. And all you could do is look at you husband and all he wanted to do was laugh. Sounds like your family as a unit is broken
HurleyX21 17
Man if I were to talk to my mom like that I would gotten my ass handed to me.
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Come on it was a bit funny
Definefailure 4
WHAT A CHAMPION. hahaha
jazman195 20
I definitely feel like the mother, no matter the circumstances, should never yell at her child for 'being an idiot.' Ya'll are talking about respect for parents but when the mom disrespect the kid like that? Forget it.
jazman195 20
Right. But if it goes BOTH ways, why is it okay that the mother called her son an idiot? I completely understand and agree that the kid was 100% in the wrong to act that way... But you're gonna call your kid names and not expect him to call you names back? Doesn't matter the degree of the name calling, it's the principal behind the thing. But it's just my opinion.
jazman195 20
Two wrongs don't make a right. Or is that old adage just completely wrong?
anonamous14 9
It's called discipline, not enough kids get it these days
Circles 18
If he's shoving he's obviously shit at basketball because it's a NON CONTACT SPORT. You need to put hem both in their places
steam_engenius 21
Wow, that is NOT okay. Your husband deserves a parenting award....
CamBam97 7
Yes!! That's how its done:D
UltimaDragon 1
lo ******* l that is funny as shit lol you totally opened youself up to that one you deserved it even though it sucks lolololol
anonamous14 9
Sounds like you two aren't on the same page about discipline and respect. They both need a reality check