Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
sammieshortcake 15
The douche bag apple doesn't fall far from the douche bag tree, apparently.
caggybandicoot 34
My parents would have killed me if I had spoken to them like that. Your kid needs some discipline, and to get rid of that disgusting mindset. Don't even know what to say about your husband.
gintwinsmoore 20
I do...MORON.
vixypixys 13
People are far too serious on here. I honestly found that hilarious. Proper family banter. Oh, and if you think hitting your child will solve any situation, you're an abusive moron.
sayhisoph 26
U really have to teach him what respect ******* means..
whatthefhumanity 7
Beat that little brat's ass. YDI for not teaching your kid to respect you.
thatcoolguy123 14
At first when I skimmed through this I thought it had to do with some friends... but then I reread it. How about you teach your kid to respect you? You should've started doing this over 10 years ago. You're his mom, not his friend. Your husband sounds really immature
gintwinsmoore 20
you let your son speak to you in that manner then you deserve what you get from here on out, OP. And your husband condones it, you really deserve it!!!!!
sasha_mizaree 6
she deserves it because the husband condones it? so guys aren't responsible for shit at all eh?
TomeDr 24
Sorry for saying this but: Parenting Fail! It never should have occurred to your son to treat you this way. And your husband should have taught him more respect for women in general.
TanJew 10
I'm sorry, but that's absolutely hilarious
itsme82 18
I feel sorry for his future partners if he treats you that way.