Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
Faposaurus 4
Crack up xD
Witchylady 17
I hope you are ok, but I will admit that your smart ass some made a quick Witt smart ass comment.
Dragon_Mommy 3
Don't let him disrespect you that way! Your husband was an idiot for laughing, way for him to set the example. Hope you're okay.
SaturnCheese 5
What the actual ****. You do NOT talk to people like that, you do not talk to women like that, and you CERTAINLY don't talk to your family like that. Kid's a brat, ground him for life.
2lovelygirls 11
Op hope your arm is ok. I would buy luggage locks and put them through the holes in the plug in of all the electronic devices they enjoy.
Garktok 11
Am I the only one that would be proud of my kid for such a comeback?
colton200456 6
Okay in all reality, he just shoved you during a game. He didn't push you to the ground to make you cut your arm. He was being competitive and pushed you. Then you fell and cut your arm. Do you really have to call him an idiot? That's all on you.
amber3120 15
Still not apropriate for him to cuss her out like tht . Thats his mother he should show more respect .
thewife5 19
I could not even imagine any of my kids talking like that. Holy shocked!
RadiantAerynSun 2
You need to have a serious talk to your husband about how he speaks to you. Because your kid has learned it from somewhere. And if it's not from him, your son should have been bleeding from the backhand his dad gave him for speaking to you like that.
pheizer01 10
That's not him being an idiot, that's you not knowing how the game works. Because that's how the game works