Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
wolleiy 3
Best. Kid. Ever.
amber3120 15
And you didnt slap his face ? ... My mom woulda broke my back over her knee and made sure i had no teeth to talk back again ..
BubbaJ80 11
Sounds like some 15 year anniversary old brat needs to be taught a lesson in respect
akanoaki 3
You asked for it...by being married to an assmunch that would teach and encourage that kind of shit. Maybe you should tell your son he has to put a tampon in his ass for a day next time he 1) laughs at his mother being hurt, 2) calls his mother a bitch, and 3) makes a PMS joke. Your husband ought to join in on the fun since he thought it was such a wonderful experience.
kenzie_gauche 12
I'm sorry but this just made me loose my shit
Jenniesaurus 14
Do NOT let him get away with this! If you don't give repercussions he's just going to learn its ok to say horrible shit like this to other people because there won't be any backlash!!! Ground him, take away his privileges (cellphone, laptop, etc.) , no pocket money. Something like that. Show him you will NOT tolerate that kind of language.
devans00 14
At least you know where your son got his asshole tendencies from.
jacoposki 14
I'm VERY creeped out by the fact your nickname is "nosexforthee"
mattlord 7
Your kid sounds like a turd
Malaki691 15
I hope you slapped his teeth out of his mouth!!