Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
Emyyy_fml 6
Not all kids just some
michael_wells831 16
Don't be a whiny bitch then
SwagBasket 10
I think OP started all of this because she was yelling at her son and calling him an idiot, that's not what parents should do.
engineerosaurus 26
It absolutely is what parents should do if their kid is doing something THAT stupid. There's a time to be delicate but when your kid is doing things that would earn them an arrest record as an adult isn't it.
swanheart 35
Actually, disciplining your child is totally part of being a parent.
SirMichael 13
@85 They were playing basketball, people sometimes get hurt while playing sports. She really overreacted unless he was trying to knock her down but it doesn't seem like that's the case.
swanheart 35
It says he "knocked her down to get to the ball" not that he knocked her down while trying to get to the ball. That makes it sound deliberate.
SirMichael 13
@107, It says he shoved her to get the ball and she fell down. Sounds to me like he shoved her and accidentally knocked her down. Probably a foul, but nothing to get angry about.
Orhugs 11
Ummm I think that comes back to YOUR parenting.
caleb_9756 14
Ball is life
skyline0392 8
Lmfao his comment was great. He shouldn't be disrespectful to his mother but funny kid
SweetheartSusie 20
As a woman, I should be offended. As a human being I think that's goddamn hilarious. I don't think I'd be able to discipline that kid. I'd be laughing along with the husband.
swanheart 35
Sounds like he needs an attitude adjustment (this goes for both your son and husband.)
engineerosaurus 26
Since you apparently married a man child with no parenting skills, you'll have to introduce them both to the notion of consequences at the same time. Whatever you pick, make it severe enough that both of them will reconsider how far they open their mouths.
isaysmile 10
Okay... Now is you Finna beat his ass??
RyWillieMitch 16
English is not a difficult language. There's nothing wrong with speaking properly.
RyWillieMitch 16
If any of those words are considered difficult, then the standard for understanding and using English has drastically lowered...