Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
davincidasecond 24
Grounded. For. Life.
604 11
Sounds like two guys in the house need to be grounded.
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Comments (166)
jojimugo 20
Whoop his ass, he wants to act like a man whoop his ass like a man
MrConcise 34
Think this may be the one time I agree with tit for tat violence. Show him men can be bleeding bitches too when they get whooped hard enough.
Rawr6591 21
tell that ass to square up
Aky0n 10
Who the **** calls their mother a bitch after physically causing harm to her? Your kid needs discipline asap.
ChristianH39 30
Someone whose dad is an asshole enough to laugh about it apparently.
gintwinsmoore 20
her husband needs discipline, too!!!!! what a moron. that's why the boy thinks it's ok to talk to his mom the way he does!!! no telling the other things he says to her.
UhHuhHoney 20
Wow, if I ever told that to my mom I'm positive that I wouldn't be typing this right now.
RepDavid 7
Damm son, thats harsh af. Shoutout to your husband for being a dick
LostInTheZone11 29
I would ground his ass 'till the sun burns out.
gintwinsmoore 20
right on!!!!!
slipstreak 10
What is grounding gonna do? That kid needs a proper ass whooping!
ChelseaxNoelle19 9
I swear kids these days. The way I hear them talk to their parents blows my mind. If I had ever spoken to my mother that way she would've gotten the belt real quick.
blueeyedfreak131 6
I agree, growing up you knew you couldn't get away with saying stuff like this because you were aware of the beating you'd get. They didn't even have to hit you. Just the fear alone kept you respectful.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Word up, I don't know if it's people being afraid to physically disciple their kids lest someone call CPS or what, but this younger generation needs to go pick a switch. (Any other southern-raised kids remember that horror?)
Si123 33
How is it 'kids these days'? I would never say anything like that to my parents, I wouldn't even swear in front of them and I know plenty of people like me!
Headcrab 29
respect has to come from both. maybe he speaks to her that way because she doesn't deserve his respect in his opinion.
Ashd09 30
@62 I'm 15 and I still have to pick a switch if I disrespect anybody or run my mouth. I'm planning on doing the same to my kids when I have em. That's the best way
DarkRealmGolem 9
"kids these days" really?
FreeTheRainbow 14
Spank the little shit. If he doesn't respect you, he won't respect any woman
Headcrab 29
that's generalization and utter bs.
ekim300 26
It's not. How is he going to show respect to other women if he isn't even respectful to the most important woman in his life?
ProfessorMctitie 20
Time for a spanking
Bloink 25
that little son of a bitch ha
Aspirax 13
Children don't talk to adults like that. Ydi for letting that be acceptable language.
gintwinsmoore 20
I couldn't agree with you more. ydi!!!!
GermyGirl 13
I don't think she really accepted it. Her husband obviously did, but se didnt