By Lady Douche of Asscrackington - 10/10/2013 20:00 - United States - Watertown

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 546
You deserved it 3 568

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings.

Rainhawk94 27


Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings.

same here! So glad I never had to deal with this stuff

I never understood why people hate their siblings so much everyone in my flock are nice to each other :)

You're an adorable little budgie. Of course your family loves you.

addioty 19

Haha it's hard having three. . . rowdy twin brothers and an adopted sister :) It gets annoying and aggravating but you can't help but love them despite that.

Of course siblings fight and tell you lies; that's what they're for. But no one has your back like siblings. My siblings have been with me since I was a kid, know all the best and worst of me, and still stick by me. Being the oldest, by 12 years, I will always be there when they need me, even though I tortured them sometimes.

while a lot of times my brother and sister drive me insane I love them, except one cause hes just an ass.

sptriangle 16

That kid is a genius. Sorry about the parents though.

Rainhawk94 27

How is he a genius? That was really stupid and not a funny joke.

kxxjoejoexxk 8

I think he means the kid is a genius for embarrassing his mother.

I agree with #14, that's not muscle that malnutrition!

hcollins1 18

Are y'all surprised that the one that says its funny is a 12 year old? Hopefully soon he will also realize he absolutely looks stupid without a shirt. Guys that workout that take shirtless pics, looks douchy but can get away with it more than boys his size.

#2 you shouldn't take a picture without your shirt off, unless you're a cat. Everyone loves to see my belly. ^_^

I'm gonna one up the 12 year old by being in a speedo.

and you wonder why most schools have a 200ft restraining order on you...

And that is why I have an unmarked van, my trusty rope, and a rag saturated with chloroform.

sptriangle 16

#34 Im 12.5 get it right. #39 You win, I can't beat the speedo.

lol your still 12 and you need to put a shirt on. unless you have something to show off you shouldnt post those pictures and even those guys are douchy.

Am I the only one who thinks his belly button is too circular

I have to agree on the freaky round belly button.

I don't think he knows what a douche REALLY is P.S. a six pack doesn't count if you're that skinny

Don't you love how the people on the internet picks up so many little things in one photo. XD

MikaykayUnicorn 36

Seems like you need to talk to your children about a few things.

Just make sure they don't mistake a condom for a balloon.

MikaykayUnicorn 36
CptnHowdyy 13

FML has taught me that all siblings are evil always.

Im almost glad I don't have mine living in the same household

I'm not sure there is any direct evidence that the older brother did it on purpose and want just confused himself.

Hopefully it is pretty obvious, but that should say "wasn't", as opposed to what my device thought and spelled it as "want"

olpally 32

That's freaking hilarious! Lol. But yeah, a douche that is really a loofah? Haha. Mental image is funny. Haha.

The "mental image" of you trying to comprehend grammar is funny.

olpally 32

The wording of the FML is what I got confused with. What was wrong with my grammar again? Yeah, shut it.

addioty 19

What an intelligent and thought provoking comment.

The nicest thing one could say about this comment is At least it was a palindrome.

Maybe next time you should pay him to keep his mouth shut. Just a suggestion.

Yep, teaching your children to successfully blackmail you is great parenting. My parents taught me early on. That's how I managed to get my car.

Kids say stuff xD sorry that you got embraced though. Have a talk with your son so he knows to not believe every word his brother says.

Oh yes I do! XD I must have not noticed that my autocorrect decided to change my words on me.