By Virginy - France

Send help

Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36761

2603

Stuck

Walk on the wild side

Dementia or hate? You decide

Own it

By anonymous - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31375

You deserved it

7328

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By Itchy Missy - United States - Denver

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40214

You deserved it

5649

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my psycho stepmother and I got into an argument, and she started to get physical. After calling the police, and a cop showing up at the door, he took her side because she said it was "discipline". I'm a 29 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37108

You deserved it

5217

Favorite

By Birthday Surprise - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52558

You deserved it

4978

Favorite

By yum. - United States

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75267

You deserved it

4723

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By Anonymous - United States

It's alive!

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32554

You deserved it

4339

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By Great... - United States

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48411

You deserved it

5645

Favorite

By hcditfi5foygy

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4386

You deserved it

255

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By goldfish - Canada

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34054

You deserved it

3865

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By yuck

Today, my father informed me that he is going to divorce his bitch of a wife, but told me not to say anything to mess things up, in case he wants to "hit that one more time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1818

You deserved it

130

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24142

You deserved it

51530

Favorite

By Lily

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2060

You deserved it

2385

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks

66704

You deserved it

7303

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1730

You deserved it

305

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By Lennie Mcfish

Today, I confessed my love to my crush over text. Later, she posted the message I'd sent her on Facebook and wrote "look at the pathetic man". The post had over 50 laugh reacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3471

You deserved it

482

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29557

You deserved it

7173

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44937

You deserved it

5227

Favorite

By Benjamin - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35708

You deserved it

3028

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By Choum - France

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42139

You deserved it

6005

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By uneducated - United States

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43308

You deserved it

2317

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47858

You deserved it

8192

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By sadsadboy - Peru

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26293

You deserved it

1834

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By Anonymous

Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2493

You deserved it

248

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By Damn.... - United States

Today, I was given the ultimate ultimatum: either I suffer excruciating stomach pains and remain a hostage to the porcelain whirlpool goddess, or I stop taking pain medication and face the wrath of a raging infection in my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31771

You deserved it

3105

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By Anonymous - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I found out my husband pretends to be a young, bisexual woman online. As if that isn't bad enough, he flipped out and didn't believe me when I told him the other "young, bisexual women" he's been beating it to are probably middle-aged men too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22244

You deserved it

1667

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23424

You deserved it

1965

Favorite

By f my lifw - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37172

You deserved it

3012

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By ilovemom - Costa Rica

Today, after reading a very emotional article about always letting your loved ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom and told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything. Her reply? "Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33900

You deserved it

4540

Favorite

By Konstantine - New Zealand

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47444

You deserved it

3529

Favorite

By angryman

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32681

You deserved it

8070

Favorite

By Dumbfounded - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34266

You deserved it

3944

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By Anonymous

Kids, it doesn't get any better

Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1740

You deserved it

Favorite

By Susan - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28885

You deserved it

6807

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By nocakeforyou!

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32113

You deserved it

14030

Favorite

By Anon - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14118

You deserved it

1671

Favorite

By AGeeksWife - United States - Saukville

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29241

You deserved it

4180

Favorite

By Charly - France

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

I agree, your life sucks

27101

You deserved it

3348

Favorite

By not_fakingit - Canada - Montr?al

Lava

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42462

You deserved it

11200

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Clearwater

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25858

You deserved it

5097

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By Katsuria - 25/7/2020 14:01

Unreasonable

Today, my mother disowned me because I wouldn’t fill out her visa application for France so that she can see her boyfriend. The reason why I refused was because my husband and I are on our honeymoon, and would like to spend some time together. I guess that makes me a “useless” daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1462

You deserved it

119

Favorite

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Top comments

By gracehi | 31

#6106381 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:30

And not a single fuck was given that day...

By allie2590 | 30

#6106389 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:31

Who cares about the damn kids... I would've hit the button more.

COMMENTS

By jeanyrios | 10

#6106375 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:28

People... I hope you were helped.

By gracehi | 31

#6106381 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:30

And not a single fuck was given that day...

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6106889 - Saturday 1 November 2014 22:19

At this moment, OP knew... He f**ked up...

By sullivankeara | 25

#6106388 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:31

Sorry OP, sounds like your neighbors are all assholes. Somebody should've called 911

By allie2590 | 30

#6106389 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:31

Who cares about the damn kids... I would've hit the button more.

jthmtwin | 16

#6106508 - Saturday 1 November 2014 14:26

If I heard that I would have just held it down :/ it's loud for a reason

tygerarmy | 35

#6106517 - Saturday 1 November 2014 14:46

OP just needed to reply back "Could you stop being self centered, there are people trapped in an elevator."

By Aquaman911 | 18

#6106394 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:33

I guess you were pushing their buttons.

By prettyinpinkxoxo | 9

#6106401 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:35

Least it SOMEWHAT lighted up the situation for being stuck in an elevator :/?

telli164 | 30

#6106510 - Saturday 1 November 2014 14:30

#7. How? This would really grind my gears.

By tony1891 | 22

#6106403 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:39

could you please get me out of this elevator?!!

By sturschaedel | 27

#6106411 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:47

"Yeah, I'll stop ringing alright once I'm ouf of the elevator."

By MidnaLink | 32

#6106412 - Saturday 1 November 2014 11:51

"I'm trapped, bitch!"

By Attacksloth | 33

#6106423 - Saturday 1 November 2014 12:21

"I'm stuck in the elevator. You either help me, or next thing I do is start yelling that the tooth fairy doesn't exist!"

Kyle1dc | 17

#6106478 - Saturday 1 November 2014 13:14

yeah right, what's next? Hogwarts doesn't exist or that camp half blood isn't real?

MidnaLink | 32

#6106593 - Saturday 1 November 2014 16:17

I don't care which, but I wish at least one of them was.