Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML
Today, I woke up from a great night of camping and fishing all night long with my fiancee, only to find my stringer of fish being eaten by a water moccasin snake. My dad's been asking for a fish fry for two weeks now. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML
Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
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Top comments
throwglitter1 0
love spuds? bahaha :)
Idonebeenhad 17
ydi for calling them love spuds
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Comments (256)
kiran11 2
wow
NzaHaFML 13
it sucked that much, you had to call ur dad? -Pun intended
Isabel312 0
that blows
Isabel312 0
that blows
Isabel312 0
that blows
Idonebeenhad 17
ydi for calling them love spuds
flockz 20
the leech really had to grow a pair to go after the love spuds.
sourskittle95 5
I can't even imagine how awkward that would be...
daisyloo 7
Ewwwie, that must've been awkward.
UN1T3D 6
that SUCKS. I bet your dad BLEW up with laughter after he saw it.
Andrew1122 0
WTF are love spuds?
Jay1D 0
I assuming they're testicles.
flockz 20
no they're mister and mrs. potato head durrrr
Boygenius50 8
Then who was leech????
juicedboi 7
You call transvestite hookers "leeches"? I bet there was so much sucking going on that it took a while for your dad to pull it off your "love spuds".
YourEvilHero 12
would have sucked even more if you got a boner
0utlawed 0
got the love spuds, in the love shack! baby love shack!
moosemonkey1000 6
the **** are love spuds?
moosemonkey1000 6
the **** are love spuds?
kenharb 4
And that's why children, you where bathing suits while swimming.
kenharb 4
**Wear
HouseKeeping 0
*wear
kenharb 4
Yes I realized my mistake, and yes I corrected it. No need to correct it again.
HouseKeeping 0
If you payed any attention to time, then you would realize they where posted within a minute of each other.
gmc_blossom 21
*Were.
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
*paid
n_epic_fail 14
"love spuds??" this is the first and god willing the last I ever here that used by a man. >.< lmao FYL
cc_the_beast 6
Eh, its good father-son bonding! I've had to dig a tick out of my boyfriends balls while camping. we've never been closer :-3
dolphincheddar 10
at least it wasn't your mom that had to do it
iPoopMusic 0
143 - Owned
Azu_nyan 8
My first thought.
maddylovesu 5
love spuds? da ****....
monarchy123 1
My thoughts exactly.
mahomie4lyfe 0
-143 wowwwww really????
TYbarnes1995 13
And the fact you have to burn off leeches
carloslover 8
woow that sucks ...
TheMasticater 9
Is it too soon to make a ******* joke?
oreobunbun 3
at least it didn't get your love carrot.
free2speak 14
I'm guessing love spuds refer to OP's balls from analyzing all the "blows"/"sucks" puns. I can't see the gender of OP on my iPhone so can anyone confirm?
evaki1 12
That s not punny!
throwglitter1 0
love spuds? bahaha :)
skizzlerz 0
Bahaha that was my first thought too. "Love spuds" haha...best term ever XD
pixie4 1
lmao mine too.
androiddestroya 7
props for "love spuds"
davidisbeast 12
ok so is that a reference to breasts? :O
AsianCookie247 14
I thought the same thing! lol
sorryforyou 0
135-no to his balls
Neorecon19 18
OP, next time that happens, just use salt. easiest way to get rid of them. damn aquatic mosquitos.
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
-Insert amused chuckle.-
carloslover 8
woow that sucks ...
Outsider_77 0
I can picture the leech's reaction when it realized it wasn't sucking blood
EatnBeef 7
cut your balls off. then it will never happen again lol....
DoggyDoggWorld 0
3- no pun intended?
brainsforblondes 0
^lol
Feklfekl2222 32
you're not meant to pull leeches off it's much safer to leave them on
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Aww look at the Pika-kitty.
esfox83 17
lol love spuds good one
maddie2015 0
5-get a new profile picture, your is annoying. middle finger and a smile, classy.
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Why be so mean?
pink_raindrops 26
That's not being mean, it's being honest. Those types of pictures are really stupid.
whitewoods 3
maddie- because everyone wants to see just one eye and your chin. grow up
jackien1 6
plus he's ugly
superguavafruit 0
Are you here to look at people's pictures?
jellybeans4833 7
Lol aww the leech wanted to stat with you :( you're so mean!
disneyfan101 6
at least you don't have to worry about blueballs anytime soon xP
HailsMM 0
Ah man no soda!? I love bawls!
blondie1208 17
love spuds. that's a new one haha
markymark1429 8
wooah cutie!
maddie2015 0
fersure.
ilovemyjohnnyboy 0
shut the hell up. you are annoying!
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Why be mean?
shorewoodTBIRD 0
hello:)
joeyjones000 0
heyy
kristena103 14
According to ur face it is
Sweej 1
Why would you call your dad? .... and what did he do that you couldn't?
Isabel312 0
op's dad is a professional massage therapist.
Isabel312 0
op's dad is a professional massage therapist.
amrik 11
sprinkle salt on its head :)
edogy 0
WTH are love spuds?!?!
lazyfoo92 4
the same question seemed to pop into my head while reading this.. an fml and wtf moment!!
illegalmexxican 0
love your pic
duhhitscolin 7
why not ur mum?
AMAN1218 4
that sucks balls!
HowardTheDuck 0
lmao
AssassinJr 0
hahaha litteraly
transfat 0
leggit .
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Leggit?
raney150 0
if you can't figure it out, he meant legit.