Yeah, that probably wouldn't work

By Anonymous - 20/03/2020 03:30

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 522

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Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

By Mark - 27/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 831

You deserved it 379

Sneaky but clever

By Sorryfornotbeinggoodenough - 19/02/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 691

By BearMan - 09/02/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 4 876

By csor027 - 29/09/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 4 636

Confused

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 19:00

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 141

Not that there's anything wrong with that

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with. Apparently my co-worker thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 448

You deserved it 4 635

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 200

You deserved it 17 873

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 329

You deserved it 38 758

By Anonymous1221 - 21/11/2016 07:12

Today, I was told by the guy I've liked for years that he would date me if he was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 144

You deserved it 1 459

By Anonymous - 13/05/2017 12:00

Today, a guy told me I was hot and that I should give him a chance. When I told him I was straight, he instantly called me a bigot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 571

You deserved it 395

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 March 2020 5:53

"Ok, then boyfriend."

ojoRojo 27

Friday 20 March 2020 8:00

Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.

Comments

Aiden89 23

Friday 20 March 2020 5:30

How dare you assume their orientation. (Jk)

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 March 2020 5:53

"Ok, then boyfriend."

jkjorn 16

Friday 20 March 2020 15:27

And then the co-worker responds: "So, are you available?"

rotflqtms_ 21

Monday 23 March 2020 2:16

Sorry, I'm not, but maybe Jack is?

JasonThorn 20

Monday 23 March 2020 17:41

I'd reply with, "I'm straight...just not narrow."

ojoRojo 27

Friday 20 March 2020 8:00

Innocent mistake. Unless he told you he was gay before, he can’t assume that you knew.

faifai_fml 21

Saturday 21 March 2020 15:08

Idiot. "I'm lonely, I wish I had a significant other." "You should go find a significant other." "...Are you even listening to me or did a bird poop in your brain pan?"