Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML
Today, I found out that I have moved next door to a guy from my school, with whom I've had a arguments with. FML
Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML
Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML
Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML
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Top comments
flashback_fml 14
You sound insane
LostMy_Marbles 24
You let her come over knowing you had her face as a target there? And you hate her so why have her over anyway?
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Comments (81)
knippy 9
I bet you did that on purpose you sly dog you, now she knows you don't like her and won't come calling anymore.
kenyalovesarah 11
a little passive aggressive don't you think?
tony1891 22
talk about awkward.
KingreX32 21
nice
Enslaved 38
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." [You're doing it wrong]
citygirl28 11
Brilliant comment. I suppose I'll get thumbed down for posting rather than just voting, but I can't resist. Gold star for you.
Blizzards 13
Keep friends close, and enemies guessing.
gracehi 33
Is this a hip new trend to invite people you hate over to your house? Boy, am I behind the times. I better get crackin' and make some tea party invitations to my ex husband, former boss, and 7th grade history teacher.
Miss_Whipped 43
I'm curious as to the story behind the teacher. Former boss and ex husband are guessable.
Enslaved 38
But why have Grace bring that up? It's ..... History. :P
marcranger 29
35, I've been on FML and followed the comments long enough to know that the only reason gracehi's ex should be invited to a party is for use as the piñata, but I definitely second the motion for hearing about middle-school trauma.
mamm_fml 14
The only thing we all want to know is why on earth was she at your place "to hang out". Need a follow-up here, please.
limabeans101029 21
Why would you let her come to your house if you hate her? Even if you didn't want to tell her the reason why, you could at least have made up an excuse. Also, even if you hate someone, having a dartboard with their face on it is just weird and creepy.
MrDonSalvetti 27
So, by being an unlikeable bitch, do you think people are gonna like you ironically?
Soundslikeothers 15
Picture taped to a dart board, do you also have a voodoo doll as well?
lulinator 40
My goodness, how old are you? Eight?
SweetasCandy0609 28
#23 if she is eight then this makes her FML even more disturbing.