By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 14:17 - Canada - Cochrane

Spicy
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 962
You deserved it 3 266

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'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'

Hey he's gotta make money somehow!

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Hey he's gotta make money somehow!

I want to see the car-fax.... Warranty?

In my exerience i've found there are more refined ways of selling sperm. And condoms.

Now that's a salesman

Now that's a salesman

Where did noorFML go???

She's chained up in my basement.

It is magic! You put it on your finger and it'll turn your sperm into a baby! Ana's if you use it for your other "finger" you may be lucky enough to get an STD too!!!

THE_A_TEEN: Wait...the birthday party was In your basement?? Damn, and here I was thinking it was in Noor's camper...Oh well. I WAS going to give her a special diarrhea monster cake--chocolate flavor, of course-- but if I don't make it, then more for me, I guess. *stifles sobs*

These homeless men are becoming more and more like inventers from the early 1900's with the wierd shit

Effusion 77 you don't know shit bout the 90's FAGGOT

I think it's funny how I accidentally put that comment twice an one of them has +10 and the other -10!

107- thats because its a double post, the second one usually gets thumbed down (unless people REALLY agree)

How much was he charging? I'm interested...

One man's trash is another man's treasure! Haha

That's fucking sick!

I'd be tempted to give him a dollar (not buy the condom) for shear creativity.

At least we was creative while describing the condom.

'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'

Only 4 more to go, and you got a compleat set!

Well, did you buy it?

42 - *Cumplete

Well, theoretically it only has 1 previous owner

Well used is always cheaper than new..

Just show me the cumfax!

He must have fat fingers then.

Or the people have a skinny dick

16- "in Cleveland Browns voice" youa fourteen

Not necessarily. They make some tiny condoms. My ex gf had some and they were like xxxs. Those things were tiny. Haha.

That reminds me of the FML about the girl whose boyfriend's thing was so small that he needed a rubber band to secure the condom.

You know what they say about a guy with fat fingers ;)

Wow 64... You just set yourself up for a myriad of easy jokes there.

70- haha no that's not why. She's my ex for being a creepy stalkerish girl who dumped me for another guy then a week later dumped him and wanted me back. Then she stalked me for about a year until she ended up moving away. Haha gotta love crazy girls. 78- I for got about that one. But yeah it must suck to have to use a rubber band to keep something stretchy on. 173-Oh well. It's FML, no big deal. Haha

179-Neither do I. It's probably something really unflattering, like...they don't often have sex because their fat fingers can't open a condom wrapper. (As an example, of course)

they say "d-damn you g-got fat f-fingers". reference anyone?

Have no idea 194

Take it. You never know when you'll get that offer again!

Who would want a used condom?

It's called sarcasm.

He even has a name to help you out with the whole "Common figures of speech confuse me" syndrome that seem to afflict a tragic number of FML-ees.

...so does that mean that this magic, one-fingered glove I bought isn't magic at all?

32, 69 - I know he was being sarcastic, I'm not that dumb. My comment wasn't in response to 4's comment, I was just saying that in general who would buy a used condom? Especially from a homeless guy, it could have an STD or something. You're better off giving the dude some money and telling him to keep it.

144- Log off the computer. Get up. Figure out how to use a sense of humor. Now come back and comment. You're welcome.

153- First of all not everything on FML has to be funny. Second, I'm sorry but I was just trying to clear things up because people were assuming I don't understand sarcasm.

168 - That is because your comment was stupid, obvious, and unnecessary.

180- Well I'll agree with you there. Everyone has a stupid comment every now and then.

At least he tried!

Yeah because everyone needs a used condom. I don't even like touching my own after let alone some strangers that could have some problems. Haha.

Ok people why are you thumbing this comment down? I thought it was funny :3

That is the most wondrous thing you could ever buy from a homeless guy, but I'm glad you turned him down.

She never said she declined.

It never said it was a she.

Umm... On her post, in the right hand corner, there is the "female" symbol. Just Sayin'...

It's called the female symbol in the upper right corner ( or for the iOS device, at least)

That's true, but one assumes she did.

Give him a break, he had to improvise because he ran out of scrap metal.

so he saved a used condom?

No, it was a magic one-finger glove.

Guess you look desperate for children.

Yeah... It doesn't work that way.

Where was this? I've been looking for a 'magic-one-finger-glove' for ages!

IT'S PETER PEDIGREW

"Act now, and I'll throw in an STD free of charge!"