Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
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By
lancesky
| 7
'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'
By
KiwiKitten
| 2
Hey he's gotta make money somehow!
COMMENTS
By
KiwiKitten
| 2
Hey he's gotta make money somehow!
Reply
Webslinger66
| 10
I want to see the car-fax.... Warranty?
Reply
munkyjunkie
| 7
In my exerience i've found there are more refined ways of selling sperm. And condoms.
Reply
juliaispink
| 1
Now that's a salesman
Reply
juliaispink
| 1
Now that's a salesman
Reply
lonkite101
| 14
Where did noorFML go???
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THE_A_TEEN
| 27
She's chained up in my basement.
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mylifesucks_fml
| 1
It is magic! You put it on your finger and it'll turn your sperm into a baby! Ana's if you use it for your other "finger" you may be lucky enough to get an STD too!!!
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
THE_A_TEEN:
Wait...the birthday party was In your basement?? Damn, and here I was thinking it was in Noor's camper...Oh well.
I WAS going to give her a special diarrhea monster cake--chocolate flavor, of course-- but if I don't make it, then more for me, I guess.
*stifles sobs*
Wait...the birthday party was In your basement?? Damn, and here I was thinking it was in Noor's camper...Oh well.
I WAS going to give her a special diarrhea monster cake--chocolate flavor, of course-- but if I don't make it, then more for me, I guess.
*stifles sobs*
Reply
_Oblivion_
| 12
These homeless men are becoming more and more like inventers from the early 1900's with the wierd shit
Reply
Mistermoomoocow
| 0
Effusion 77 you don't know shit bout the 90's FAGGOT
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juliaispink
| 1
I think it's funny how I accidentally put that comment twice an one of them has +10 and the other -10!
Reply
MrStongray
| 2
Mixed emotions
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42istheanswer
| 27
107- thats because its a double post, the second one usually gets thumbed down (unless people REALLY agree)
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mmmPoptarts
| 6
How much was he charging? I'm interested...
Reply
polishperson5253
| 5
One man's trash is another man's treasure! Haha
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mrszane93
| 5
That's fucking sick!
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syley
| 5
I'd be tempted to give him a dollar (not buy the condom) for shear creativity.
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drunkandfml
| 11
At least we was creative while describing the condom.
By
lancesky
| 7
'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'
Reply
YoungMisfit
| 9
Only 4 more to go, and you got a compleat set!
Reply
bitch_pleez
| 10
Well, did you buy it?
Reply
Rowdey
| 10
42 - *Cumplete
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abbybailey204
| 19
Well, theoretically it only has 1 previous owner
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Inheritance
| 10
Well used is always cheaper than new..
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KiddNYC1O
| 20
Just show me the cumfax!
By
wenwenno
| 4
He must have fat fingers then.
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bananagrams
| 9
Or a pencil dick
Reply
thischick1659
| 1
Or the people have a skinny dick
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MrBrightside21
| 20
16 - Or not.
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ddddddddg
| 9
16- "in Cleveland Browns voice" youa fourteen
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onlychildFTW
| 33
Not necessarily. They make some tiny condoms. My ex gf had some and they were like xxxs. Those things were tiny. Haha.
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egc573
| 40
That reminds me of the FML about the girl whose boyfriend's thing was so small that he needed a rubber band to secure the condom.
Reply
mrszane93
| 5
You know what they say about a guy with fat fingers ;)
Reply
brackaman
| 18
Wow 64... You just set yourself up for a myriad of easy jokes there.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
70- haha no that's not why. She's my ex for being a creepy stalkerish girl who dumped me for another guy then a week later dumped him and wanted me back. Then she stalked me for about a year until she ended up moving away. Haha gotta love crazy girls.
78- I for got about that one. But yeah it must suck to have to use a rubber band to keep something stretchy on.
173-Oh well. It's FML, no big deal. Haha
78- I for got about that one. But yeah it must suck to have to use a rubber band to keep something stretchy on.
173-Oh well. It's FML, no big deal. Haha
Reply
egc573
| 40
179-Neither do I. It's probably something really unflattering, like...they don't often have sex because their fat fingers can't open a condom wrapper. (As an example, of course)
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AllThatHit
| 7
they say "d-damn you g-got fat f-fingers". reference anyone?
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onlychildFTW
| 33
Have no idea 194
By
SarcasticUnicorn
| 9
Take it. You never know when you'll get that offer again!
Reply
Queen_Cosmos
| 7
Who would want a used condom?
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kooochris1995
| 14
It's called sarcasm.
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SenselessPattern
| 12
He even has a name to help you out with the whole "Common figures of speech confuse me" syndrome that seem to afflict a tragic number of FML-ees.
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Superstitious
| 6
...so does that mean that this magic, one-fingered glove I bought isn't magic at all?
Reply
Queen_Cosmos
| 7
32, 69 - I know he was being sarcastic, I'm not that dumb. My comment wasn't in response to 4's comment, I was just saying that in general who would buy a used condom? Especially from a homeless guy, it could have an STD or something. You're better off giving the dude some money and telling him to keep it.
Reply
random_jay
| 6
144- Log off the computer. Get up. Figure out how to use a sense of humor. Now come back and comment. You're welcome.
Reply
Queen_Cosmos
| 7
153- First of all not everything on FML has to be funny. Second, I'm sorry but I was just trying to clear things up because people were assuming I don't understand sarcasm.
Reply
fmlallthetyme
| 23
168 - That is because your comment was stupid, obvious, and unnecessary.
Reply
Queen_Cosmos
| 7
180- Well I'll agree with you there.
Everyone has a stupid comment every now and then.
Everyone has a stupid comment every now and then.
By
lonkite101
| 14
At least he tried!
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Yeah because everyone needs a used condom. I don't even like touching my own after let alone some strangers that could have some problems. Haha.
Reply
MindFreakazoid
| 10
Ok people why are you thumbing this comment down? I thought it was funny :3
By
vucui
| 21
That is the most wondrous thing you could ever buy from a homeless guy, but I'm glad you turned him down.
Reply
Wreckless_fml
| 6
She never said she declined.
Reply
skyrimbaby
| 2
It never said it was a she.
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Octain
| 13
Umm... On her post, in the right hand corner, there is the "female" symbol.
Just Sayin'...
Just Sayin'...
Reply
fhornbg
| 7
It's called the female symbol in the upper right corner ( or for the iOS device, at least)
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Wreckless_fml
| 6
38
-trollface-
-trollface-
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vucui
| 21
That's true, but one assumes she did.
By
bananagrams
| 9
Give him a break, he had to improvise because he ran out of scrap metal.
Reply
igive
| 29
so he saved a used condom?
Reply
Dadothy
| 8
No, it was a magic one-finger glove.
By
KitGrey
| 4
Guess you look desperate for children.
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CountMango
| 5
Wat.
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kewlkate
| 9
Yeah... It doesn't work that way.
By
Doortje
| 29
Where was this? I've been looking for a 'magic-one-finger-glove' for ages!
Reply
i_canlickmyelbow
| 3
Ontario. Good luck.
Reply
fuzzzy12
| 3
IT'S PETER PEDIGREW
By
PlayWithElmo
| 7
"Act now, and I'll throw in an STD free of charge!"