Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML
Today, as I was coming out of McDonald's, there was a street musician playing outside. He had his saxophone case open for money. I meant to give him a ten, and it wasn't until I got home later that I realized I'd accidentally given him a hundred-dollar bill. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
howslife123 0
I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story
Calivale 7
eww what an ass. that's messed up.
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Comments (192)
howslife123 0
I saw a lady throw a bag of dog shit into a guitar case once and the guy sniffed it true story
Miss_Kristen 10
Cool story, bro
Jacobt24 19
why did she just happen to have dog shit on her? and why was the guy in the FML carrying a used condom?
cocobulla1 4
well.... Thats nice
howslife123 0
nice original comeback , bro
howslife123 0
#12 her dog did it's bidness and she picked it up in a bag and threw the bag I and he's like "what the hell is this" but he kept it
ilovecookies83 0
12 - Yeah if you can't think of something better to say, don't say anything at all. OP - That's revolting! Some people just have no shame!
nigrice 0
12 - your not black. stop trying to be.
dudeitsdanny 10
I feel like I might be feeding the troll, but I'll go ahead anyways... How is #12 being black?
iLOLatURpain69 7
Im just gonna say it. Although it sucks, OPs and 1's comments are awesome. FYL however.
iLOLatURpain69 7
Im just gonna say it. Although it sucks, OPs and 1's comments are awesome. FYL however.
dummbrunette 0
Hand sanitizer! :D kills 99.9% of germs...and bodily fluids...
nikki9tails 3
I'd bleach it and cover it with fabric or stickers or posters. I'd personally not touch it again but ya you need the case and probably not willing to buy another one
kings1fan 6
Well what about that 00.1%! Poor guy....
MusicXisXii 0
Sad thing is, that's most likely not the most disgusting thing that has touched that money...
kyliebear 15
Eww, this comment and OP's story are just gross. I mean, a used condom, that is just ... disturbing. But a guy sniffing dog sh¡t is also so wrong. I nearly threw up ! (: but I'm fine lol.
JuggaletteKlown 0
ew. people suck. e.o
stef108 3
so some guy just randomly had a used condom in his pocket to toss at someone?
alexg823 0
He could have come out of the apartment after mating with prostitutes.
Soloman212 28
Or hisself, and prefers to wear sanitary socks.
Alex94xela 0
LOLOLOLOL just wait till the **** dries and spend the money quick. and maybe buy a new case or scrape the crusty **** off your choice.
be123 6
eew. he probably had an STD
juicedboi 7
Why do people like that even exist? Seriously all you condom throwers out there, quit sharing my oxygen.
mduffy08 8
dis infectants kill 99.9% of germs. chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever the **** he wants.
MagicGiraffe 12
if you were to find out his information I'm sure this can be classified as some sort of sexual harassment. Take it to the courts!
markrs 0
57- that 00.1 percent is AIDS
Calivale 7
eww what an ass. that's messed up.
rainbo955 0
that is just disgusting. I would have punched said person right in the face.
xlord 27
looks like op got found himself in a sticky situation
chiddy_bang71 0
looks like op... (puts on sunglasses) should have protected himself. YEAHHHH! sorry for the shitty pun, 78 stole the one I wanted.
jorrrdddinnn 1
I wonder if money goes through a sanitation process everytime it comes back to the government. (let's hope) I'm a huge germaphob. but, FYL I'd be mentally scared and never touch it again.
MusicXisXii 0
yeah, you've touched money with dead pre-fetuses before.
RezaCookies 0
hothothothothot
maszaros 9
Whatever! one has to question why OP was playing for money on the street, yet somehow has the means to post on this website. YDI!!
a_nutritionist 10
@158 one has to question how monkeys learnt to speak english and use a computer, but here you are.
Complaining 13
That is disgusting and rude. I'm sorry for you OP, I hope you have better luck soon.
TheCountess 4
What a classy gentleman.
CareFace 16
What a sticky situation.
lalala2589 0
It's a sad day when millions of people will stay at home and watch Jersey Shore, but very few people will give people with a real talent common respect or even attention. **** people like him. They're just a waste of space.
jellybeans4833 7
you shouldve taken your guitar and thrown it at him! xD
Jacobt24 19
but then how would he make more money?
jellybeans4833 7
just don't hit the guy to the point where the guitar breaks because that would be wasting a good guitar on a stupid ass.
lalala2589 0
If you hit someone with an acoustic guitar without breaking it, you might as well just tap them on the shoulder with a magazine. Those things are fragile, you wouldn't do any damage without breaking it.
MrHughJass 0
5 You dumbass.
foilindo 0
Hahahahahaha. sorry. it was just way too funny. maybe it was worth a lot to him. maybe he hadn't had sex goer months and wanted to share!!! lol
MrSexyPants 14
Ew, what a douche. Lysol asap!
ilovecookies83 0
I don't even think Lysol could help! :E
Symbolical 0
Dude, that's just gross.
flockz 20
maybe u shouldnt carry your guitar around in a garbage can...
regsworld11 2
That's really gross, he obviously has no class!