Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who... - FML

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/1/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

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Capitalism kills

Clocked

Lockdown is driving us down

By InnocenceBlue - 31/7/2019 12:00

Today, I finally managed to get my electrician boyfriend to agree to replace our old lights, after a year of asking. Saturday, he couldn't be bothered and Sunday he came down with a mysterious man flu. This is about the 10th time this has happened. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/6/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

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By Hunter Ferguson - 31/7/2018 13:00 - United States - Fort Washington

Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML

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By no good deed... etc - 16/10/2017 04:30

Well Well Well

Today, I tried to surprise my mom and wash her car while she was away. Today, I also found out how gross our well water is. The car looks worse than before. FML

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By knicksfan - 5/4/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML

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By notanybetter - 8/6/2019 02:00

Today, the drummer from my favorite band threw a drumstick into the crowd during a concert. It hit me on the head and bounced into my friend's hands. She left with a drumstick from a band she didn't want to see in the first place. I left with a bruise. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/5/2013 03:28 - United States - Carencro

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

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By Raiden - 10/3/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

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By bonzo - 22/6/2015 14:41 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

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By fuckthepopo - 21/1/2012 02:31 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

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By steph - 31/10/2008 07:11 - France

Today, my ex-girlfriend told me that she can't live without me, but she has another boyfriend. FML

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By Moeswifey - 24/10/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

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By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

The Sweet Smell of Success

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

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By Smitty Werbenjeagermanjensen - 27/10/2016 03:19 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML

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By krissy - 20/3/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, I found out that the sleazy guy I met with a few days ago decided to move into my home town to "be closer" to me. I've already told him I'm not interested in him, but he still continues to ask me out. FML

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By bitchface - 9/1/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I looked at my father's facebook for the first time in a month to see his status and it said "making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter. FML

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By theish - 4/2/2011 14:08

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

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By parisklutz - 20/10/2012 07:06 - France - Dounoux

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

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By blood buddies - 3/7/2014 17:53 - United States - Milford

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

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By booboo300 - 29/4/2019 00:00

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML

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By TheLostCauseFML - 25/10/2017 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about role-playing during sex when he suddenly said, "I'll be Trump. Let's make sex great again!" FML

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By Bigbaby - 11/6/2015 22:29 - United States - Ontario

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/3/2020 23:00

Working in retail sucks

Today, a customer yelled at me because we didn't have any laptops in stock. I work at a clothing store. FML

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By poolboy - 14/4/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

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By Nikse - 29/7/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

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By Yuck - 11/10/2018 05:00

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

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By Noname - 28/1/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2013 17:44 - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

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By MyDeliveriesCanWait - 24/8/2019 02:07

Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened the box, almost every single bubble had been popped. At the bottom of the box, there was a sticky note that said, "Sorry." FML

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By Matt L. - 30/7/2020 14:02

Thanks, I hate it

Today, my car insurance called about "the car I hit" on Monday night. Monday, I'd gone to the girl I’ve been seeing for a month's house for chicken parm and to meet her parents. I parked on the street. Her dad ran into the back of my car, leaving a dent. I never got the chicken parm either. FML

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By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

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By sstahpp - 20/8/2015 21:24 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

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By ForeverAlone - 9/5/2015 15:53 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I emotionally confessed to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat it several times. He ended up telling me no. FML

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By sk8rgurl - 28/6/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/11/2012 00:30 - Croatia - Rijeka

Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear. It hurts so badly that I'm practically in tears. Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed. Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up. FML

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By notfatanymore - 13/11/2011 20:50 - Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

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By norestforthewicked - 2/3/2016 20:41 - United States

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

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By Diana - 25/10/2019 22:00 - United States

We hear ya

Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

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Top comments

By chaos753159 | 4

#787424 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:19

wait she wanted you to "T-Bag" her and u just gve her a condom LOL

By Seventytimeseven | 0

#787416 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:16

hillarious, not FYL. JUst highly amusing

COMMENTS

By Seventytimeseven | 0

#787416 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:16

hillarious, not FYL. JUst highly amusing

Reply

george456 | 0

#787521 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:53

She probably thought you were trying to give her a hint. WIN

Reply

Bertha5 | 0

#792191 - Saturday 23 January 2010 2:05

aaahhaa! ieepp

Reply

bobmandude | 0

#995935 - Monday 17 May 2010 5:44

Tea bag and condom in one FML? AWESOME!

Reply

jediknight4ever | 0

#1776392 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 1:32

Did she say yes?

Reply

Autoshot | 9

#2299866 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:45

It would be hilarious if she opened it and pulled it out before realizing.

By shivam1212 | 0

#787421 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:18

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Autoshot | 9

#2299874 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:47

// will this get modded?

By chaos753159 | 4

#787424 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:19

wait she wanted you to "T-Bag" her and u just gve her a condom LOL

Reply

rude_21 | 0

#788696 - Thursday 21 January 2010 17:08

Win!

Reply

pnut3xoxo | 0

#989259 - Saturday 8 May 2010 3:07

That's awesome(:

Reply

heysugar111 | 0

#1243816 - Sunday 15 August 2010 5:17

FTW(:

Reply

yamryan | 0

#1852850 - Thursday 16 December 2010 10:03

ftw

By uhhheyy | 0

#787427 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:20

good golly miss Molly !!!!!!

By whatwasthatnoise | 0

#787430 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:21

not fyl but really funny...i like the fact that it was later you relised..i like the idea that you were in the moment, just about to need the condom and pull out a tea bag instead with some sort of comic 'ooo no' moment

Reply

xpopcorn | 0

#1542430 - Wednesday 13 October 2010 17:39

I like this!!! lol.

By Frank155 | 5

#787435 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:23

FAIL

By iamgoofymovie | 0

#787436 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:24

that's gona be some funky ass tasting tea that ladys gona be makin

By omgmorganomg | 0

#787437 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:24

Hahahaha

By VanessaVander | 2

#787448 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:29

dude that's so funny! be more careful though. ydi

By hrtstealer | 0

#787460 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:35

better apologize before she reports you to HR.