Work: Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who... - FML

By PentiumBawls8 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

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Triage

Shitpants blues

Insurance is a scam

By fledermausi - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

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By alison - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

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By pittmanw - United States - Jackson

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend in bed with another guy. On top of it all he stole my favorite underwear. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

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By NotGay - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Bye gifts

Today, it seemed like a great day. Right up until the point to where I accidentally damaged a friend's MacBook Pro. Not only do I have to pay for it, but the only way I'll be able to afford it is by returning every single Christmas gift I get. FML

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By lyle - 2/4/2021 08:00

Oh, hai Mark!

Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML

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By selfishsexysanta - United States

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

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By nil mil

Crazy ex's girlfriend

Today, I sent my ex's mom several pics of the kids from our recent outing. Being the kids' grandmother, she loved them. Later, I got a barrage of angry, insulting and threatening texts from my ex's new girlfriend, saying that since he and I are no longer together, I should have no contact with his family. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

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By pipers - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

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By twit - United States

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

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By maxiflouf - France

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

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By publicenemy - United States

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

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By she has dumbcuntitis - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

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By bad boss

Today, I had to reprimand an employee for her bad attitude and terrible work performance. She went to HR and said I harassed her for being gay. Guess who they believed. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Stockbridge

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

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By Anonymous - India - Ahmedabad

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Woodside

Dazed and Confused

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

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By eenkoekje

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

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By Anonymous - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

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By Deadmeat

Throw the bill at the kid. Do it.

Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML

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By whatdidimarry - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

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By StevieMe - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

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By Aaron - United States

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

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By thanksfyi - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

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By notsoaloneanymore - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they 'thought I would be lonely'. I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML

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By nuttedthefout

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

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By pkz - France

Today, I found out that my husband of five years was living a double life. He and his mistress have two children together and a third one on the way. He told me the only reason he stayed with me was for my money. I make about 8 dollars an hour and work two jobs to make ends meet. FML

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By whiskey'swino

Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML

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By SteamLass765

Today, a woman drove her car onto my closed worksite. Since it is hazardous for the general public, I told her to leave. Later, the police arrived and gave me hell. Apparently, I was reported for being "snippy". FML

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By MoneyMike - United States

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

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By therealducktape - France

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2021 20:00 - United States - Seaside

No, it's not a cult, not at all

Today, I found out that not only does my sister consider Fox News "reliable" but her husband has been buying Trump merchandise. They owe me $1,900 but they're literally giving a millionaire money instead of me. FML

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By ticked - Pakistan

Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML

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Top comments

By chaos753159 | 4

#787424 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:19

wait she wanted you to "T-Bag" her and u just gve her a condom LOL

By Seventytimeseven | 0

#787416 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:16

hillarious, not FYL. JUst highly amusing

COMMENTS

By Seventytimeseven | 0

#787416 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:16

hillarious, not FYL. JUst highly amusing

Reply

george456 | 0

#787521 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:53

She probably thought you were trying to give her a hint. WIN

Reply

Bertha5 | 0

#792191 - Saturday 23 January 2010 2:05

aaahhaa! ieepp

Reply

#995935 - Monday 17 May 2010 5:44

Tea bag and condom in one FML? AWESOME!

Reply

jediknight4ever | 0

#1776392 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 1:32

Did she say yes?

Reply

Autoshot | 9

#2299866 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:45

It would be hilarious if she opened it and pulled it out before realizing.

By shivam1212 | 0

#787421 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

Autoshot | 9

#2299874 - Tuesday 5 April 2011 22:47

// will this get modded?

By chaos753159 | 4

#787424 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:19

wait she wanted you to "T-Bag" her and u just gve her a condom LOL

Reply

rude_21 | 0

#788696 - Thursday 21 January 2010 17:08

Win!

Reply

pnut3xoxo | 0

#989259 - Saturday 8 May 2010 3:07

That's awesome(:

Reply

heysugar111 | 0

#1243816 - Sunday 15 August 2010 5:17

FTW(:

Reply

yamryan | 0

#1852850 - Thursday 16 December 2010 10:03

ftw

By uhhheyy | 0

#787427 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:20

good golly miss Molly !!!!!!

By whatwasthatnoise | 0

#787430 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:21

not fyl but really funny...i like the fact that it was later you relised..i like the idea that you were in the moment, just about to need the condom and pull out a tea bag instead with some sort of comic 'ooo no' moment

Reply

xpopcorn | 0

#1542430 - Wednesday 13 October 2010 17:39

I like this!!! lol.

By Frank155 | 5

#787435 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:23

FAIL

By iamgoofymovie | 0

#787436 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:24

that's gona be some funky ass tasting tea that ladys gona be makin

By omgmorganomg | 0

#787437 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:24

Hahahaha

By VanessaVander | 2

#787448 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:29

dude that's so funny! be more careful though. ydi

By hrtstealer | 0

#787460 - Thursday 21 January 2010 1:35

better apologize before she reports you to HR.