Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
Looks like he got dessert with that meal.
xtna 9
The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.
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Comments (98)
Grauncho 27
Looks like he got dessert with that meal.
Adree 15
A piece of ass cake
euphoricness 28
A piece of ***** soup
MrSassypants 34
11 and 23 wha... wha... what? And why?
Gingerette 8
Don't ask, Mr. Sassypants..
8born8 18
11 & 23 the sheer stupidity of your comments gave me a headache.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
23- Pray tell, how do you have a piece of soup?
Soloman212 28
***** soup, no less.
LowExpectations 30
(Zoidberg voice) What's this? Two meals in one week?
XypherDubstep 8
I could not find a more perfect comment
lickastick 27
Looks like you gave him more than a meal ;)
gc327072 31
A meal and a feel! "Do you want the combo?" "Yes… yeeessss…"
Gittoh 21
better something than nothing I guess
onlychildFTW 34
I'll take the nothing thanks.
addioty 19
He got a little bit of dessert, eh?
Snorlax_Snarf 10
Wow Many down votes Much sadness.
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Am I the only one who understands that if you say something out of context its not funny?
angiemarie96 25
#47 When doing "doge speak" Wow ALWAYS comes last :P
Snorlax_Snarf 10
Many downvotes Much sadness Wow ;D there
addioty 19
****, someone posted right before me as I was still typing and I just now saw it. Oops.
xtna 9
The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.
MrSassypants 34
That's what I'm saying!.... I am not holding up in court so well, however.
beaglegal 42
It's the thought that counts!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I don't understand what everyone's problem with homeless people grabbing their ass is about. I go around grabbing homeless people's asses all the time. They never complain about it!
beaglegal 42
Omg you just won the internet #51
Awesomeaxel 24
Homeless guy got two birds with one stone. A meal and a couple of butt squeezes.
scottyspot 11
You made his day, so he was simply trying to make yours better!
67FML 5
Does that qualify as a date?
truesarrif 33
No good deed goes unpunished.