By Grossedouttt - United States

TMI

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43290

You deserved it

3692

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Animals

Season finale

Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

Final words

By rbeast - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47599

You deserved it

4142

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By peachass - Australia - Melbourne

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25794

You deserved it

1280

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By amidreaming?? - United Kingdom - Bushey

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30378

You deserved it

3839

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By ZeldaovaPeach - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15096

You deserved it

1190

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By chris

Frustration level 100

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1521

You deserved it

186

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/1/2021 20:01

Parting gift

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

859

You deserved it

Favorite

By fuckingdieyouoldhag - United States

Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50552

You deserved it

9605

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By XRayXLopez1 - United States - Dallas

Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12387

You deserved it

1491

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By frustrated - United Kingdom

Today, my boss yelled at me for ruining the report she was supposed to write with my "terrible spelling and grammar". I've checked it thoroughly, and all of her 'corrections' are wrong. She doesn’t believe me, and is refusing to look at a dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38604

You deserved it

2734

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By Anonymous - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55382

You deserved it

5479

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By brokeandiknowit - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I installed an app that notifies me of every purchase on my credit card. Now I'm being tormented by notification after notification as my wife decimates our finances. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4407

You deserved it

932

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36089

You deserved it

3132

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By horriblefashionsense - United States - Winter Garden

It's Thursday!

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47500

You deserved it

6237

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By life_sucks - New Zealand

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31947

You deserved it

7494

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75151

You deserved it

23838

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By jkl54 - United States

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68753

You deserved it

6497

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By lds124 - Canada

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34138

You deserved it

3945

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42645

You deserved it

15215

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9348

You deserved it

29200

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By baddoggy - United States

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12080

You deserved it

23527

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9486

You deserved it

46583

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19888

You deserved it

35315

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By ...

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks

3313

You deserved it

5462

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By cutthroatkait - United States

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42678

You deserved it

2994

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By Nickie809 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22077

You deserved it

1852

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By Anonymous - France - Cateri

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33334

You deserved it

2164

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By Anon - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29950

You deserved it

4164

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By me - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34236

You deserved it

3290

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By WhyGodWhy - United States - Addison

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10562

You deserved it

794

Favorite

By oreoblizzard619 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21472

You deserved it

3166

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42654

You deserved it

10842

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8635

You deserved it

47518

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Doncaster

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41018

You deserved it

5670

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By Fefrank

I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. Today I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1553

You deserved it

937

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I met an old friend, who accidentally revealed he once met my wife in a club. They were both drunk and she let him have anal sex with her for a fiver in a club toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4284

You deserved it

328

Favorite

By sad guy - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58200

You deserved it

3095

Favorite

By ronz

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7750

You deserved it

44629

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By Anonymous

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12075

You deserved it

52532

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By efff my life. - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73013

You deserved it

4279

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

I agree, your life sucks

73137

You deserved it

8243

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Top comments

By Ub3r_Crippl3 | 0

#366893 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:16

You asked. At least she was honest.

By Jazzywrites007 | 2

#366857 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:06

Well....
How do you think *You* got here?

=]

COMMENTS

By Jazzywrites007 | 2

#366857 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:06

Well....
How do you think *You* got here?

=]

hairt | 4

#1635111 - Monday 1 November 2010 8:32

fail

By itsgen | 16

#366875 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:11

ughh i would hate the visual image of my parents
omg i feel soo bad for you
maybe next time your better off not asking
what you dont know wont hurt you

Tkdxxxse | 0

#844202 - Thursday 11 February 2010 10:36

hell yea masterbate worthy image right there and @2 your pic is hot ;) call me sexy lol jk

By Nissi | 17

#366890 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:15

Aww. Yikes. FYL indeed.

By Ub3r_Crippl3 | 0

#366893 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:16

You asked. At least she was honest.

By 8trickster8 | 0

#366918 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:32

I agree with #6

By maupa | 0

#366929 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:42

grow up.

By PumpkinTarte | 0

#366932 - Saturday 4 July 2009 12:48

Agrees with #6 too.

By xemmy_fml | 0

#366946 - Saturday 4 July 2009 13:00

YDI. You shouldn't have asked. You should have just done what your mother told you to.

By Zerooo_fml | 0

#366988 - Saturday 4 July 2009 13:34

you guys are a bit harsh , how could the OP know it was somthing like that, he was prolly expecting a normal responce just to stimulate conversation

also why would a mother tell there child that?

By SusanaSaysRawrxD | 0

#366992 - Saturday 4 July 2009 13:36

Lmao. xD
Gotta love parents who aren't afraid to say anything.
your life isn't really fucked, though. just slightly gross. :P