Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML
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Top comments
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
You asked. At least she was honest.
8trickster8 0
I agree with #6
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Comments (77)
malcolm1919 0
Sounds like the dog wants a threesome
disasterheart 0
You have a dog that can open closed doors!? You gotta YouTube that shit.
GoodpointAllen 0
Hahaha, ur life sucks rite now. But, its okay, it'll be funny when u tell ur kid u need him/her to pick up something for your sex in a few years >;)
soccerballs 0
who cares ill still want to do it at that age too. its not their fault u hate sex
Kris2476 0
...This isn't an FML... I mean, okay. Your parents have an active sex life? Your life isn't messed up, nor do you "deserve" anything.
loobyfire 0
Get off my FML
yaktazuki 0
I love how it's ended with "What an image." That sentence Made this FML epic.
uchihasasuke 0
#15 HOLY CRAP!!!! WTF O.o
AudreyKHepburn 0
WHY would you ASK what they needed the door-stopper for? It's kind of obvious, to either hold open or hold shut a door. For that, you deserve it. But I agree, disturbing mental image.
stripper_bitch 0
I hate how its always so horrific for people to realize that their parents have sex. Though I can understand that being a bit of a shock/unexpected in this case. Either way, YDI. Doorstops are for holding a door place.