Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, my mother found me staring at my puppy's asshole. She had apparently been standing there for 5 minutes. FML
Today, my mom caught me absentmindedly staring at my puppy's butthole. She'd also been standing there for 5 minutes. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The red rocket is pretty disconcerting. It also ruins family photos!
TheJawsman 18
Consider it a compliment that the dog was happy to see her? Some dogs wag their tails...while others...
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
The red rocket is pretty disconcerting. It also ruins family photos!
Glowworm56 27
Looks like mom pulled a boner about Fido's boner.
RichardPencil 32
Mom probably gave the dog Viagra instead of its blood pressure meds by mistake.
Chazzster 32
So what planet did you Mom grow up on?
Dave_Davington 34
I guess she was having a hard time with what she was seeing.
GhostFox 34
She actually freaked out about that? When our last dog to have that be a recurring issue was having that "problem" I was ten, and it was more of a "ugh, not again, so unsanitary" issue for me than anything. But there was also the relative that was a nurse that freaked the **** out and called my mom- who was at work- about it. And tried to convince mom to let her take him to an emergency vet. Over a boner.
TheJawsman 18
Consider it a compliment that the dog was happy to see her? Some dogs wag their tails...while others...