Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML
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Top comments
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
You asked. At least she was honest.
8trickster8 0
I agree with #6
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Comments (77)
geesquared 0
I wonder if they have ever heard of door locks... haha
davdude12 0
My dog does the same thing to me and my girlfriend and my door's knob is broken so of doesn't lock.. I use weights to hold the door close
lastminuteperm 0
Sounds fake. They could have locked him in a different room, put him outside, or whatever. I'm not saying it IS fake but it SOUNDS fake.
baileys82 0
you've never owned a pet who *has* to be in the same room as you at all times.
jdawg777 0
Parents should NOT still be having sex by the time their kids are old enough to drive, or even know what sex is
aaaaa12345_fml 0
why the **** not? sex is a big part of any normal marriage.
randomxtremely 0
FYL I would hate to even see my parents faces no matter what they're doing--they suck
Dramaramagrl 0
ewwwww but u shouldn't have asked.
bloodyhell9398 0
if you close the door ALL the way, a dog cant open it
omigod 0
F ur mom's life. dogs need love too. just let that poor thing have its way. threesome is not too bad after the first time.
cramazing 0
wtf y would she ask u that??? FYL hard
jw90 18
Shouldn't of asked..:P