Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
You asked. At least she was honest.
8trickster8 0
I agree with #6
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
aback 5
I sure hope they're using birth control if they're too stupid to shut the dog in the bathroom, leash it, crate it or put it outside.
666HailSatan666 0
Most likely, they are probably too stupid to use contraception. So FYL OP if they have another child with idiot genes (not saying you have them, or anything).
aback 5
The OP might not really be the dad's anyway.
666HailSatan666 0
Go buy a knife instead and kill them then feed the remnants to the dog. No one will know :D
SuperSpore 0
What the hell? That is ****** up.
simpsonman3000 0
no... feed them to her back! in a bowl of chili even!
Vlamakis 0
hahahaha thats gross.
carrie84 0
ewwwww you shouldn't have asked. ydi
idontgiveone 0
FYL, But hey, did you know that they did it to make you? :)
aaaaa12345_fml 0
what are you, a ******' scientist?
pkyadtas_fml 0
How can #5 agree with #6 ?!
fili450r 0
you have like 2-3 minutes to edit your text...that or he was being a smart*** and just said agree with next number.
hersheysbar 0
oh, thank god i wasn't the only one wondering that.
lostmymind4121 4
Lol I was wondering too!
koda_fml 0
Is there no such thing as a lock?
f_u_u_f_f 0
I think your mom is the one to blame here. When you got home, hopefully you tactfully asked her to keep such details to herself in the future.
Qup 0
I'd guess the door isn't hung properly - unlike pops.
YLIF 0
LMAO!
stanish 0
Don't ask, don't tell.