Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I confronted my mother because I lock my bedroom door everytime I leave the house, then when I came home, the door was open and ajar. She got really defensive and said it's because she and her boyfriend want to make passionate whoopie on my king-size bed because it's bigger than her full-size. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML
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Top comments
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
You asked. At least she was honest.
8trickster8 0
I agree with #6
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Comments (77)
maupa 0
Oh come on! How can this be FML at all? Is it that hard to imagine that your parents, guys who love each other, are having sex? To be honest, it would be something wrong if they wouldn't do it! I, myself, am glad that my parents are having sex, and I'm aware of that - it isn't FML in any, I really mean ANY, dimension. Grow up, people!
checkitoutt 0
i totally agree because although the mental image may not be pleasant, its good that theyre still intimate because it means their relationship is good. and think about it, most people want to get married/have kids and would you want to stop having sex with your partner just because you have children? hopefully not.
Leptailurus 0
Another chiming in to say I agree. I don't understand why sex between parents is so taboo to their children. How do you think YOU were born, huh, OP? I'll give you a hint, it wasn't the stork.
ellbtvsvm 0
Sex does not = love, kthx.
maupa 0
I agree - sex =/= love, but love = sex. That's why it's called "making love" as well. "kthx."
lesp 6
danine is right. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to. But yeah, pretty gross mental image. FYL
Some___Guy 0
Maybe they just need a doorknob.
Kylias 6
Ick. At least now you know not to ask anymore, right?
dumass30 0
Wow all I can say is wow
xo_dynika 0
Damn whats up with dogs and sex. my dog came in my room last night and licked the INSIDE of my boyfriends ass while we were going at it.. ******* **** blocking dogs lol
thewingedlama 4
What the ****
LovingCFK 8
if you're THAT grossed out, then maybe you should watch them ... cuz that's probably the closest you'll ever get to actually having sex ... dumbass ...
car6435 0
your mom sounds like a child. texting randomly. and Im a teen myself. fyl
Ashorama 0
If the door had been closed, how could the dog "push" it open as she said? I could see that happen if the door was ajar, but then she could have just closed it. Think people
waterynuggets 0
I agree with #51