Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
deliciouskaek 1
#9 :: wow. that's really sad. have you ever used one? @ OP :: Nothing wrong with virginity, so not really an FML.
timeisindustry 0
Those of you who didn't know that condoms expired are idiots. Hopefully you haven't been "accidentally" procreating, adding more stupidity to the gene pool. OP: It's good to be prepared, but you kind of jinxed yourself there. It will happen when it happens, then you can worry about the condoms. =P
Palx 0
you didn't cleaned your bedside table for over 5 years... easy to understand why you haven't get laid
Always_Abby 0
Have to agree with #25.
mattiscool 0
25--- thankyou
o_O_0_o 0
HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA poor kid.
fyourlives 0
how is this an fml? and after realizing that you still havent had sex, the first thing you did was post it for the world to know? how about spending some of that time trying to get laid?
DarkMirror 0
Eh no big deal. Just keep looking until you find the right person.
uberchicken 0
#25- Harsh.
Luckster 0
Nothing wrong with that man, sex isn't important. I been with the same man for a good 6 years now and we still haven't done it. There's a million other things to do in your day other than sex.