Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
Flashman9000 9
errr its pretty obvious.
cmac86 23
he wants butt secks. many happy returns, though I'm sure you'll get some weird looks if you brought that back to the store.
entis_fml 9
Crappy gift indeed.
sowrongitsdani 14
Well, you'll probably be getting lubricant for Christmas...
Stayin_Classy777 8
Maybe he thought you were screaming more in the bathroom than in the bedroom
norwegianboip 17
Most likely he wants to try anal and want it to be all clean and cosy in there.
llnursingll 10
he wants to enter from the back door maybe lol jk .
WhiteCrimson 23
For your b-day he will be making your outlet pipe wider. Shame OP. Good luck
logankyng 15
Crappy gift....ha
katties 27
Yea, you can tell him he's not getting any if he thinks an enema is necessary - he has obviously NOT done his homework on the topic. On top of that he's only thinking about himself on YOUR b-day. Hinting that he wants anal is NOT the way to do it, he need s to make YOU want it yourself (not for pleasuring him). No anal for guys like that.