Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
thepieguyisi 4
You'll know soon enough, OP.
rooneygirl420 13
Perhaps he wants anal for HIS birthday. The home enema kit is the gift that keeps on giving!
ralmilk 16
he probably wants to try anal sex, so he wants you to be "cleaner" down there
Bcfrmkc816 17
Good question. But happy birthday anyway
Catkam623 27
Ops boyfriend is perdix
Cory123125 3
Maybe he saw that you were eating junk food and was preparing for constipation
gabygabs 8
maybe there's a specific gift he wants from you on HIS birthday...ahem...
lbrown66 12
Ha ha your right it was a 'crappy' gift
happyfingers 15
o.O I'd have been incredibly confused too. My only guesses are: 1. It was a joke, meant to confuse the crap out of you... Perhaps literally... >.> Or 2. He's looking for some booty action. ... Maybe both.
Lil_Red777 21
ANAL