Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
ThaPrelude 11
he wants to explore the Brown cave instead of the love cave. not my cup of tea but hey to each is their own
DRush_fml 12
A discussion about trying anal is in your future...
iiyahkinz 9
It means En Your Ass... Op take it to the next level
RedPillSucks 31
Give him a home lobotomy kit as a gift.
BFons 19
Take the hint
WickedWolf 11
It's because he wants to put it in your butt.
Adorlee 11
Good luck OP!
onedaylikethis 5
I think he was trying to hint at what he wants you to give, or let him give, for his birthday.
naiveprophet 15
hahahahaha, "crappy" gift indeed, OP!
blackonblight 32
Blast, app doesn't tell me what state OP is from. Because, if it were Florida, they had issues with used enema kits winding up back on CVS shelves a while back.