Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
yourmofo 6
Anal without poop noodles.
Obey_StudBoii 23
There needs to be a follow up for this
cookie1207 19
Clean asshole! Clean sex!
krisnick 17
He wants to re-enact the Milk Fic
dbaguy 9
Do you REALLY have to wonder?
Ray_of_midnight 22
He's a closet klismaphiliac. Ask him which end of the enema bag he wants to be on.
Narcisse_fml 25
I'm guessing he wants to make sure there are no rounds in the chamber when he attempts anal.
mosquito19 14
maybe because he doesn't like chilli dog?
gin16 1
He gave you a crappy gift literally!!
musicophilia 3
I'm sure it's been said already, but yes, that's some "crappy" gift. I think it's his way of telling you he wants to try anal...