By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00
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I'm so sorry. You deserve better. Today's my mom's birthday, and I gave my dad two cake options and asked him which one she would prefer. He had no idea. He said he had no idea if she even ate cake. They've been together for 30 years and he doesn't know anything about her; he doesn't pay attention to her, and he expects her to wait on him hand and foot 24/7. The last present he got for her was a necklace, when they had their first child...over 25 years ago. Nothing for birthdays, and nothing for Christmases, except for their first Christmas together. He got her a vacuum cleaner. Meanwhile, he expects pomp and fanfare for his birthday. The only thing my mom doesn't do for him? Wipe his ass. She's told me that she'll never leave him because she's scared of being alone. Please know that you are a wonderful human being and you deserve the world. You should be with someone who knows that. Don't make the same mistake of accepting him and living a sad and lonely life like my mom has. It's depressing to see, and it's heartbreaking knowing my mom is treated like crap. (If you don't have kids with this guy, leaving will be even easier. Just do it.)
Yeah, I've tried. Dad's a POS who has never and will never change. He's self aware enough to realize that he sucks, but he's shitty enough that he doesn't care. And as far as my mom goes, she feels like she's a failure for picking him but she literally doesn't want to die alone. Now that my grandparents are getting older, she's starting to seriously worry about that. I'll never be able to change her mind, and he'll never leave her (even though all he does is complain about her) because he couldn't support himself on his own. Want an update on my mom's birthday? We were going to go out for a family dinner, until my dad pulled her aside for a 'private word.' That resulted in no dinner, no cake, and no presents. He's great at creating toxic environments when he feels like he's not getting enough attention. I just went and told my mom that I made her a cake and she got teary eyed and said we'd eat it together, tomorrow. Aka when dipsh*t isn't here. Oh, and I had to HIDE her birthday cake from him, because he's an inconsiderate pig and would literally eat the whole thing in the middle of the night.
And how long have you been married? If not long, ok, but if for years and things have been going like this for awhile, then it’s definitely a YDI.
That's a crock of bull. Why is it only an FML if they've been together a short time? Its worse the longer you are with a person, BECAUSE THAT'S ALL YOU KNOW. Its hard to be independent when you are with someone for a long time and hard to make that choice to leave as a result of that lack of independence. A bit of empathy goes a long way dude.