Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
andreitaxx89 13
Maybe he thinks you're full of shit?
icepanda 6
that's just a horrible gift
pepsi_ftw 13
what is an enema kit?
brewmasterg 34
If you can type this, you can type it into google.
mattrd_fml 31
its a kit where you squirt liquid up your butt to clean you out.
pepsi_ftw 13
thanks
buckdharma 37
Maybe his money is tight and he's a little behind. (hint, hint.)
buffysummers 5
He wants anal!
hitemup789 4
Anal ******* tonight
willowfiasco 4
Is his birthday coming up?
seriously_wtf22 2
He wants to take you from behind
justlikeme79 9
Don't feel too bad. Today is my birthday too, and my boyfriend had to cancel our plans and then never even told me happy birthday. At least yours remembered.
gracehi 31
Waaaaah...
edmunson 22
Wtf kind of comparison was that??
NightHawk387 22
It's simple. He bought you an enema because he thinks your full of shit.