Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML
Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
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Top comments
BreynHope 11
Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.
BlesstheSilence 11
Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!
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Comments (199)
stanforda97 9
Anal
conqueror57 11
Duh, anal sex.
soapmactavish82 8
He wants you to prepare for something painful. I'm terribly sorry
Ambience138 11
#95 - It's only painful if you're doing it wrong.
Tressa1982 18
Easy.. Birthday sex butt love!
TheRavynFire 4
Clearly he wants to partake in anal sex with you. But he wants your butt to be clean first lol
kiki1705 20
Happy birthday!
jer_36 10
I think its pretty clear what he wants. This is more than dropping hints, its very obvious.
akatsukiOusawa 2
OP Your boyfriend likes ya and he wants ya now you can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Obey_StudBoii 23
He wants buttsex.
shanannygians07 28
If he wanted to put it in your ass condoms would have been cheaper so he must think your full of shit..
baref00tmama 15
Those two things don't fill the same function.