By benjamin03 - United States - Philadelphia Today, my mom continued her search for a special, super-healthy laundry detergent that she knows makes me break out in hives. FML I agree, your life sucks 12332 You deserved it 954 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jolabanane - France Today, my neighbor was having work done in his apartment, and he'd warned me that there might be some noise. Yes, there was, what with all the town's firemen in the building after he'd ruptured the main gas pipe. FML I agree, your life sucks 29138 You deserved it 2076 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RingRing - United States Today, I was about to get on stage for a choir concert, and realized I had no where to put my phone. Running out of time, I tucked it in the front of my dress and got on stage. I should have put it on silent first. FML I agree, your life sucks 8413 You deserved it 34107 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Kettering Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML I agree, your life sucks 40147 You deserved it 3010 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 32740 You deserved it 6006 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML I agree, your life sucks 11971 You deserved it 52060 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - France Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she managed to go home with a guy and I'm still decidedly single. FML I agree, your life sucks 35911 You deserved it 6484 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML I agree, your life sucks 37266 You deserved it 2621 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML I agree, your life sucks 42113 You deserved it 2567 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Wrexham Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML I agree, your life sucks 59139 You deserved it 18849 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gaagaa - United States Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML I agree, your life sucks 8132 You deserved it 28253 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By humiliated - United Kingdom - London Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML I agree, your life sucks 21925 You deserved it 2323 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Greattitan2 - United States - Beaufort Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25516 You deserved it 1849 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CARnage - Australia Today, I hadn't been out in two weeks, and I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Instead, I rear-ended someone at a roundabout and had to go home. FML I agree, your life sucks 11331 You deserved it 23588 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 20:00 Big Brother Today, I was accused of "spying too much" on what my coworkers are writing about Covid-19 on the news site I work for. I'm one of the supervisors. FML I agree, your life sucks 1453 You deserved it 152 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jaymail - 17/5/2020 17:00 You snooze, you lose Today, I saw some really nice dining room chairs sitting out on the curb waiting for the garbage man. I went to the door to ask the owners why they were throwing them out. They told me it was because they had just bought new furniture. While I was talking to the owner, somebody else picked them up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1541 You deserved it 467 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By racoonface - United States Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 16624 You deserved it 54614 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Flooded - United States Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML I agree, your life sucks 26943 You deserved it 3506 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Allabouttheporn Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML I agree, your life sucks 7907 You deserved it 3240 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FunTimes - Canada Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML I agree, your life sucks 1548 You deserved it 103 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Addison Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML I agree, your life sucks 24833 You deserved it 5596 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML I agree, your life sucks 3255 You deserved it 706 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emily - United States Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend of two years. He asked me to turn off my webcam. I asked why, and he said to just trust him. Turns out it was because he didn't want to see my face as he broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 46709 You deserved it 3230 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnAngryyGiraffe - United States - Chatsworth Today, after dropping my phone in the toilet, I left it dismantled outside in my backyard to dry hoping it could be saved. I forgot about the phone as well as the sprinklers that were scheduled to go off. FML I agree, your life sucks 6570 You deserved it 3905 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nofriends - United States Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML I agree, your life sucks 48649 You deserved it 8253 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF - United States Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML I agree, your life sucks 34861 You deserved it 4469 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Springfield Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML I agree, your life sucks 27266 You deserved it 2146 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bootyislife - United States - Lynnwood Hidden Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML I agree, your life sucks 31528 You deserved it 7340 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kate - United States - Exton Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2044 You deserved it 376 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillavirgin - Canada Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML I agree, your life sucks 23114 You deserved it 5896 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dotcomboy - United States Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML I agree, your life sucks 12921 You deserved it 78670 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By witt75 - United States Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML I agree, your life sucks 27668 You deserved it 6216 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 20singleandproudish - Canada - Saskatoon Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML I agree, your life sucks 38682 You deserved it 3701 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kill me - Canada Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML I agree, your life sucks 25082 You deserved it 8726 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yawning - Australia Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML I agree, your life sucks 33843 You deserved it 9843 214 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By _/ | \_ - Singapore - Singapore Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML I agree, your life sucks 44326 You deserved it 3775 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lemonchips - Norway Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML I agree, your life sucks 24335 You deserved it 2959 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Sri Lanka Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML I agree, your life sucks 19559 You deserved it 28228 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cjw - United States Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 46491 You deserved it 4296 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/12/2020 02:02 All in the family Today, I found out my boyfriend of a year is actually my cousin. Thanks, Mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 881 You deserved it 75 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 23349 You deserved it 3419 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EvilLittleMan | 23 #6644000 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 2:53 Find that super duper Icy Hot and put it into the crotch of her panties. Send a private message 165 3 Reply
By HoboMeth | 32 #6644010 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 2:58 Is this on purpose? That's mean, do something for revenge until she gets the message Send a private message 114 1 Reply
By EvilLittleMan | 23 #6644000 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 2:53 Find that super duper Icy Hot and put it into the crotch of her panties. Send a private message 165 3 Reply
Reply Welshite | 39 #6644013 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 3:03 You really are an evil little man. Send a private message 31 1 Reply
By HoboMeth | 32 #6644010 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 2:58 Is this on purpose? That's mean, do something for revenge until she gets the message Send a private message 114 1 Reply
By Fredrick010 | 9 #6644014 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 3:04 I would suggest doing your own laundry. Either at a laundromat, or friends house, but its a good way to avoid your mom doing that. Send a private message 35 1 Reply
By Sparx1_1 | 16 #6644031 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 3:27 Time to start buying your own detergent and doing your own laundry Send a private message 30 3 Reply
By nesteremily | 31 #6644043 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 3:38 Just make sure your laundry is done separately than hers Send a private message 6 0 Reply
By ShleeG | 23 #6644047 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 3:41 maybe that's her way of getting you to do your own laundry... evil genius Send a private message 19 4 Reply
By mnshdw818 | 3 #6644055 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 4:09 Can you buy your own and do your own laundry? If you're old enough to post here, you're old enough to operate a washer and dryer. Send a private message 18 9 Reply
Reply Mathalamus | 24 #6644149 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 6:34 That isn't truly a measure of ability. Send a private message 15 1 Reply
By drpepperking10 | 18 #6644062 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 4:23 Play the long game revenge, become a beekeeper and release tons of bees into her room while she is sleeping. Send a private message 9 1 Reply
By LyricaSilvan | 29 #6644063 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 4:23 Sounds like your mom cares more about her own health than yours. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By jake131000 | 21 #6644082 - Wednesday 6 July 2016 4:59 I hate to be that guy... But you could do your own laundry you know... I've done mine all through high school Send a private message 7 2 Reply
Reply whymustyou | 4 #6647065 - Sunday 10 July 2016 18:53 But if the mom is the only one buying detergent, it could be the only kind they have. and not every teenager has money or a job Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 54 10 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 572 You deserved it 50 2 Comments