Sex and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 734

You deserved it 13 678

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Same thing different taste

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

By toughbf - 27/09/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 819

You deserved it 3 786

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 443

You deserved it 6 313

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 402

You deserved it 47 553

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 731

You deserved it 13 038

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 892

You deserved it 10 873

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 6 856

jsp16 24

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:13

Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:16

I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?

Comments

Protagonist_ 9

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:00

YDI for dating a D-bag.

ottokat 15

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:29

Hey 17, what do you think 50 Shades of Grey IS??

acerredrum 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:31

#40 as someone who is into kinky BDSM I can say with some certainty that 50 Shades of Gray is an abusive relationship pretending to be BDSM.

MidnaLink 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:38

Leave. Now.

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:53

You don't have to time travel anywhere. Google domestic discipline. It's alive and well and living next door.

sugarbear0727 19

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:54

By far one of my favorites. Don't tell him what to do, guys hate that. Unless they've told you otherwise.

graceinsheepwear 33

Tuesday 23 July 2013 15:57

41, you are a girl after my own heart. I second that emotion.

kewpiesuicide 29

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:05

Am I the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with this?

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:56

I don't think it was the right moment for him...and for some reason that sounds familiar...

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:01

I got a good chuckle out of this. Sounds like something my hubby would say hahaha

Keywords

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The Top

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 91

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 423

You deserved it 13 436

Today, my grandpa forgot that my aunt set up a baby monitor in his bedroom in case of a fall. I’m sitting in the living room with his wife - who is deaf - and I hear him moaning over the baby monitor. My grandfather was jerking off and forgot that someone could hear him. I wish I could forget too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 128

Today, I'm in Ibiza. My period came early and had nothing but face masks to use as sanitary towels. Then, the closest thing to period knickers I could find was in a souvenir shop, which on the arse reads, "What happens in Ibiza belongs in Ibiza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 303

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 428

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss's new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 140

You deserved it 4 401

Today, my wife asked me to come talk to her in the bedroom. Thinking she wanted to have a quickie while her sister was spending time with our son, I rushed into the room. She didn't want a quickie, she wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 677

You deserved it 562

Sexy talk

Same thing different taste

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