Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
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Top comments
jsp16 24
Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?
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Comments (123)
Lorysa 11
The first two lines were hot, and then I laughed my ass off. What a mood kill! When he wants a BJ, get him going, then tell him how nice and dry and toothy it'll be, like those sand monsters from Star Wars.
frecklefacee 6
Dumbass
shan88 14
41. I completely agree with you. As soon as I read it I stated that it was an abusive relationship. Also, I'm quite a fan of BDSM, is it just me or was the "kinky" stuff in that book extremely tame?
shan88 14
3. How very archaic of you. A lot of people enjoy being dominated/punished, I do and I can tell you right now, my partner has complete love and respect for me!!! BDSM does not equal abusive men!!!
obsquire 5
I don't think he understands how dirty talk works.
Llamanator9913 16
Getting freaky?... Who says that?
graceinsheepwear 33
Grownups, sweetie.
jlmontgomery 11
Not all guys get the whole "punishment" thing....sucks for you OP.
aeonsoul 12
That's not kinky roleplay, that's sadism and that's some scary shit, not sexy at all to most people. Let him know that, OP
Tootsieroll0505 19
Very sexual (sarcasm)
Jazer22 10
This is too funny hahahahahahahahahah