Sex and Intimacy: Sexy talk

Sexy talk

By suckstosuck - 23/07/2013 04:04 - United States - Dana Point

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 734

You deserved it 13 678

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Same thing different taste

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 400

You deserved it 49 337

By toughbf - 27/09/2011 08:28 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 819

You deserved it 3 786

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 443

You deserved it 6 314

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 402

You deserved it 47 553

By unforgettablee - 29/04/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 731

You deserved it 13 038

By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 4 468

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 9 280

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 892

You deserved it 10 873

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 6 856

jsp16 24

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:13

Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Tuesday 23 July 2013 12:16

I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?

Comments

AngrySailor 17

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:41

!POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!"

joyce71 5

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:42

I get your thing twice you ask you to do that again and how did you get spanking confused punch in the face

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 23 July 2013 17:23

WTF? My reading skills are being punished, right in the face!

miyaviichan 27

Tuesday 23 July 2013 18:48

This is the greatest comment ever. Am I high?

boomer1986 8

Tuesday 23 July 2013 13:59

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

buddy51 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:02

OP- Are you dating Ralph Kramden?

dawood_k 27

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:18

Blue eye movie

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 23 July 2013 16:27

More like black & blue eye movie.

SavannahSunshine 26

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:35

Did he actually???

WhiteCrimson 23

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:42

Well im assuming he is pissed off with you for ruining the moment..... Just my opinion

Xivion 19

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:52

But it's opposite day...

jaredfry17 7

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:58

Even if it's a turnoff for him, he should have played along with it for you...

braceinevitable 8

Tuesday 23 July 2013 14:58

Sometimes you just need to let it happen... Just saying

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 620

You deserved it 4 356

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 7 813

Today, the best manager I've ever had told me she was leaving to take a job at another company. I just found out my new manager is a guy that has destroyed three different departments in three years. He's the owner's nephew or something. I do not want to be looking for a new job during the Covid-19 pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 128

Today, I witnessed a postal worker with an important parcel stopping before knocking on my door, shrugging, getting back in his van, and driving away. I couldn't get the door open quickly enough before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 898

You deserved it 178

Today, I realized that I could have slept all day yesterday and it would've changed nothing. I don't talk to anyone and I don't do anything. My presence or lack of presence in this world means nothing and affects nobody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 252

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 15 059

Sexy talk

Same thing different taste

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