By FML Videos - United States - New York Precision Struggles He's got a very... interesting technique. 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xxruby - United States - Katy Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44140 You deserved it 3516 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sillyrabbit - United States Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said "hey" when he was next to me. He said, "the pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML I agree, your life sucks 8349 You deserved it 46272 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML I agree, your life sucks 23705 You deserved it 69632 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnatomyLecture Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML I agree, your life sucks 6743 You deserved it 640 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By long day - United States - Bay City Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 47592 You deserved it 3861 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eli - United States Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 26685 You deserved it 3626 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Infadel - United States - San Marcos Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37750 You deserved it 10468 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Glassjaw - United States Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML I agree, your life sucks 44618 You deserved it 7885 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - 18/1/2021 08:02 Fragile Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 673 You deserved it 74 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By J - United Kingdom Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 14575 You deserved it 35372 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By River - United States Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML I agree, your life sucks 18156 You deserved it 55737 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rich - United States Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML I agree, your life sucks 32302 You deserved it 9533 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/1/2021 11:01 Deception Today, I found out that my husband, who was supposed to be in PA school, dropped out 6 and a half years ago and never even received his bachelor's. He started lying to me before we were even a year into dating. FML I agree, your life sucks 936 You deserved it 128 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML I agree, your life sucks 7628 You deserved it 40970 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nottoosmall - United States Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML I agree, your life sucks 37680 You deserved it 15572 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Johnston Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML I agree, your life sucks 24715 You deserved it 3982 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Carlton Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML I agree, your life sucks 2316 Phew, glad it wasn't me 368 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mccomb Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML I agree, your life sucks 52054 You deserved it 3506 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/9/2020 10:49 This is fine Today, I envy all the mothers who get to hide in their bathroom, engulfed in tears, when at their breaking points. I'm a single mom of two heathens. Today, like most days, really I had to threaten violence at the top of my lungs so they would stop fighting long enough for me to simply use the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 976 You deserved it 417 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BOHICA123 - United States - Brighton Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 45082 You deserved it 5264 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 33950 You deserved it 2906 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lucas_urev - United States - Cold Spring Harbor Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML I agree, your life sucks 36661 You deserved it 7091 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML I agree, your life sucks 43028 You deserved it 2945 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Homeless - United States Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML I agree, your life sucks 96849 You deserved it 3510 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PeterRabit - Canada Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 19809 You deserved it 47071 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By where do they come from - United States - Bellingham Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML I agree, your life sucks 51538 You deserved it 4528 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By erinbarto Soon. Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1283 You deserved it 113 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 40130 You deserved it 11856 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By random0605 - United States Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 26797 You deserved it 4179 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/4/2020 23:00 Family values Today, I discovered that my very recent ex-fiancé tried to bang his sister-in-law several times while we were still together. The best part? She’s my son's teacher and she waited until we'd broken up to tell me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2265 You deserved it 254 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xxbobsan - United States Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML I agree, your life sucks 47610 You deserved it 5492 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML I agree, your life sucks 23296 You deserved it 2767 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noname - France Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 26096 You deserved it 11064 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dammit - United States Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML I agree, your life sucks 30229 You deserved it 2395 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By annonn - Brunei Darussalam - Bandar Seri Begawan Today, I found out that people know when you're screenshooting their snaps on Snapchat, by the guy I have a crush on, asking me why I keep doing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17070 You deserved it 17928 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Federal Way Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 11098 You deserved it 2291 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bilibók Renáta Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1338 You deserved it 783 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skyeraven - South Africa - Cape Town Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 43782 You deserved it 4615 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frenchpop1960 - United States Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML I agree, your life sucks 15317 You deserved it 41748 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML I agree, your life sucks 34991 You deserved it 4248 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jkjorn | 15 #7719181 - Monday 5 November 2018 20:40 Screw happy little trees, I need more angst-ridden brushstrokes in my art! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By jkjorn | 15 #7719181 - Monday 5 November 2018 20:40 Screw happy little trees, I need more angst-ridden brushstrokes in my art! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things... I agree, your life sucks 28 You deserved it 38 3 Comments
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 381 5 Comments