Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
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Top comments
jsp16 24
Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?
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Comments (123)
DocBastard 38
You DID say you were getting freaky. That's pretty ******* freaky.
Jenn2021 8
That escalated quickly. If kinky was what he was going for he missed the mark.
meherm 11
Actually it's more where she was going for. He seemed totally uninterested in it.
8born8 18
Aaaaand it's gone.
Dessert_ed_FML 9
*moment ruined*
Dessert_ed_FML 9
or 50 Shades of Kinky BDSM..
meherm 11
You have to remember all men have different fetishes/turn ons etc. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be into the kinky stuff. Especially since he didn't go along with it when you told him to spank you therefore you should've stopped there. Talk these things out before assuming he'll be into it to save yourself the embarrassment.
annie_nk 22
It seems the blood flow to his head in his pants affected his head on his shoulders because it doesn't sound like he thought before he spoke.
Damned_Architect 25
OP, your boyfriend is failing to understand what taking charge (AKA, being a Dom) is about. Either you have to train him or loose him.
TheBrochure 22
You are failing to understand that things like this are not simply black and white. There are at least... 50 Shades of Gray in between.
Damned_Architect 25
Gotta admit, that was a good comeback!
brandoneyez1 25
I'm just guessing here, but you didn't flirt much like this before. Which might be why he wasn't getting it. shame, but if it makes you feel better I'm sure all the guys who read your post will spank you! Lol
tegraturbo2000 15
agreed
Ms_ValS 27
Run away. That's a red flag if there ever was one.
RedPillSucks 31
Is this advice for OP or the boyfriend?