Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
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Top comments
jsp16 24
Is your boyfriend Chris Brown?
PimpdaddyCJT 13
I guess he's not into the whole 'lets do some kinky shit in bed thing' huh?
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Comments (123)
Thomas6792 7
how to role play like a man
cass99 11
Well did he! Maybe next time you shouldn't do exactly what you've read online or in romance novels!
simplysarcastics 26
He is very passive aggressive i see warning signs lol.
eggfactory 20
Somebody's been watching Sarah Millican's stand up comedy ? It was nicer in the show though, as it was "punish", not "punch. " So Fyl, except if you're in that kind of things.
MadisonDerp 16
I bet that was a real turn-on. (Sarcasm)
fallslikedominos 10
Uh too far.
KaitlynNeal 13
Well that escalated quickly
Cristian89 29
You should of played it out like in the 1st scary movie... Tell him you're gonna piss on his face and then shit on his chest...etc. LOL See how he reacts then lmao
BrotherTheo 31
Get him a Copy of 'Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns'. Hopefully it will give him some ideas....!
noldier 5
get out while you can. firstly because "don't tell me what to do" , secondly as a guy unless a woman is threatening physical harm that shit is unFucking acceptable!
BaraSkit07 12
Yes, she should break up with him. Furthermore, she should report him to the police. What are you? 12? Plus you sound very sexist. No sentence should ever start with "as a guy", like there is a difference between a man hitting a woman and a woman hitting a man. Plus, "don't tell me what to do", why is that bad? Do you want your partner to be a slave to your bidding? From your comment you sound like one of those feminists that think that feminism represents equality when it in actuality represents female domination. And before anyone gets political: I'm not saying that all feminists are like this, all I'm saying is that mainstream feminism has derived from "women's rights" to "women power" sort of like white nationalism.
Alicestraza 33
"don't tell me what to do" is bad because it makes for an awful sex life where the OP can't discuss her wants or needs or even give direction in the bedroom as to how he can please her.
interesting33 36
I think #84 might have been saying that punching someone or threatening to punch when it is not consented to is unacceptable?
baref00tmama 15
Um...sucking at dirty talk is not really a reason to break up with someone. They were ROLE-PLAYING. It wasn't an actual domestic dispute. OP; let's hope he was so caught up in the moment that he couldn't think of anything to say! Practice, I guess.