Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
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Top comments
asoptavlo14 6
At least you used protection.
yankfan89 27
If you are afraid of your girlfriends parents finding out your are having sex maybe you shouldn't do it in their house.
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Comments (264)
nava1210 12
Haha, good times
Zorah1337 0
Yeah now thats a sticky situation
NoFeet 4
Just stop...
tintata123 8
I was just in one of those situations! .... Fun, right? ;)
xoconnie 8
omg.... ur screwed bro.
Drigr 9
I woulda been like, "Uh.... I always keep one on...?" then ran out the front door. Then again, my most recent ex's step dad scared the living shit out of me and it woulda been running for my life
tjv3 10
Hahaha thank you OP thank you I really needed that laugh
ucoolgirl31 20
I've seen this FML before....
Fml_FTW228 10
Everybody come check this FML. It's kind of recent. Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML In the commenting of the first comment there is funny shit xD. Just read the last commented that was commented under the #1 comment. Ok :p
cheefer 0
Shoulda just told him, "it's better than millions of babies dying on her face!"
nerobluerose 10
Let's hope her father is afraid to go back to prison.
TmoneyD23 0
YOLO!! Haha
killerkiss92 8
Quick! Tell him you are the Trojan man!
iamyourmum 1
How did the condom even slip? Was it that loose around your Willie?
cheetahbaby96 8
Well considering the size difference between hard and soft, you would think if he lost his boner at the sight of her dad it would slide precariously until finally falling to its impending doom.
RedPillSucks 33
I suppose that would have meant something entirely different if he still had a boner at the sight of her dad and the condom didn't come off. Round two, anyone?
LARobert 1
Fool
aliciamartinez15 11
Obviously he put it on when he was hard. however, after rushing to get dressed I'm sure he went soft causing the condom to slip down.
randome101 12
Wouldn't having underwear on solve this whole problem?
asoptavlo14 6
At least you used protection.
asdaasdaasda 1
Exactly, could of been worse. Could have been braking the pregnancy to her dad...
Skittlepickle 13
Either way I hope OP has a bullet proof vest on.
StanSmith_fml 9
21- breaking*
ilovesuju 10
break dancing*
derkster 6
2-Safety 1st!
theamazingone_12 7
see if i was the dad id give him a high 5 and leave the room
marsrover12 0
I was going to say it
hockeyoceancity 13
108- You're profile picture. I'm speechless on what to say next other then BAM!
hockeyoceancity 13
108- You're profile picture. I'm speechless on what to say next other then BAM!
mars13_fml 8
True but now he might need protection from the dad. Just wondering but how does someone forget to take off the condom though?
PrussiaisAwesome 15
112- Your
xcarxcrashx 9
72 that chicken looks delicious!!
cheefer 0
136- Hungry? Why wait? Eat the packaging.
Epsilonyx 15
If a father congratulates a guy on scoring his daughter, there's a problem.
DespairFaction 11
Yeah I would not be congratulating this guy on banging my daughter. It would be more like you better start running while I load my gun.
Bekll 31
44, if you're going to correct someone don't omit other errors like "could of".
yankfan89 27
If you are afraid of your girlfriends parents finding out your are having sex maybe you shouldn't do it in their house.
StoryOfTheYear 15
What are you talking about? OP was obviously fapping naked in his girlfriends bathroom.
p3mguin 7
Use a condom for that, never heard of that
louiseth 9
A lot of parents would know their kids have sex, it's just a tad awkward when they catch them in the act.
R4P3DwithALOHA 0
hahaha ur number 69 lol xD
I_heart_sex 1
That's the thrill of it though! Do it on their bed!
iceman420son 7
Even better I've done it with my gf and her sister on the pool table
natepooch 4
110 .....what the ****.....
Branflakes78 13
110 what the hell i doubt that happened
Achall91 17
I find it absolutely disgusting that people do it in their parents bed. Why the hell would you want to have sex where your parents sleep and also have sex. So gross.
RedPillSucks 33
Didn't say they were having sex in the parents bed.
jannielovesjack 0
205- read 77's reply.
MrBoredGuy 1
Been there...
LightningCactus 12
Done that.
speshlk37 13
Doin' it tomorrow.
Dr0reos 8
thats going to be hard to talk your way out of OP.
SwaggerMelon 6
Doin' it now.
FilleNoir 21
Yuck dude.
luckyd880 12
Op: *kicks condom under table* "...so what's for dinner?" Gf dad: "Well I think I'll just have spaghetti and your-balls with vodka sauce"
wildsweetchild 19
Wonder what happened next..
cliffibom 15
Doesn't matter had sex?
Sk8erchick98 7
Dude its just protection
RedPillSucks 33
Doesn't matter, had the crap beat out of him by GF father.
snippyxD 7
Toilets a good thing. Could've gone there before entering the kitchen :)
AppallingRogue 2
Unless the kitchen is on the way to the bathrooms, some houses are designed like that.
gr8koolkat 6
Depends on where in the house they had sex (;
PandaYachi 4
Condoms do not go in toilets.. Why do guys think and do this??
katie345 1
They meant by going there to throw it away or something smart one.
Meettitan 14
134- "Toilets a good thing".... I do believe you are wrong, smart one.
flipfloperson 5
144 - Some people refer to the bathroom as "the toilet." Since he said "could've gone there," it is safe to assume that he meant the bathroom as a whole.
FML_Master2133 6
Shit idk how to delete a comment and I misread the comment I was replying to. Nothing to see here... Move on...
FML_Master2133 6
So all I did was edit it. I forgot to add that and now this is a double post.
GeorgiaaaRose 7
And you call yourself the FML Master...
TheNewGuy03 29
You must be a master of ******* up toilets. |the kid|
snippyxD 7
153 - indeed!
FML_Master2133 6
If you guys are wondering why I didn't just edit it, I already did and you can't more than once. (at least on my iPod you can't)
FML_Master2133 6
***** sake I did it again... Someone please tell me how to delete a comment on an iPod.
buckstop1 37
Actually: if you are a fan of ice breakers, you could use an empty ice breaker container to store the used condom. That way when you throw it away no one will see said condom
UltraRice 0
"Psht, how'd that get there?"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"I wear a rubber at all times; it's a necessity."
esines 9
"Snaaaake skiiin!!!"
zachherbert 10
"It's just balloon for balloon animals."
Amarve 4
-picks it up- "uhhh... I think you dropped this.."
kaila332 0
Ha ha lol
tzhiting93 3
IMPOSSIBRUUU!!!
trollfaced 2
What's that white stuff doing in there?
RedPillSucks 33
zachherbert, if I were the dad, I'd demand he blow it up.
SquiddlyDiddly 4
HAHA! This is hilarious!
ManInTheMachine 20
Dad: Hey Dan! How's you and my daughter's relationship going? OP: *tightening belt* Ummm...great! Our conversations are definitely getting more intimat--I MEAN DEEP--DAMMIT! No, I mean personal. Yeah, personal. Dad: That's good. *leans in* Just remember: if you so much as look at my daughter in a sexual way, you will wish you were never with her. EVER. OP: Yes sir! Uh, gotta go. Moms callin-- *condom drops onto floor* *pisses pants*
asdaasdaasda 1
We got what happened for the OP, no need to spell it out for us, thanks.
user324234324 1
Stop trying so damn hard.
kickuwithmyfist 1
16,22- both of you shut up! I love a good story and you're ruining it!!!
ManInTheMachine 20
While you two were busy pissing and moaning about my comment I looked at it, and established that it is probably one of my worst comments. Wanna know what I did after that? I had dinner and watched some TV, them came back to look at the rest of the comments. My comment was bad. I don't need two assholes getting hot and bothered about it to realize that. I apologize if it I inconvinienced you by forcing you to read it, but if you didn't like it, there is a certain button that helps you with that problem.
robinhood007 9
You pretty much always have bad comments. This one is like the rest of them...annoyingly too thought out...
aw3som3sauc3 10
Actually, I found his comment more intriguing than the actual FML, so if you would kindly refrain from speaking such harsh words, it would be much appreciated. Now a shortened version for the incompetent people online. Dude, shut the **** up. Thank you.
reddudeover 2
34 - Are you KIDDING me? Half (if not more) of your comments on this website are bashing other people for having "bad" comments or being "stupid". "there is a certain button that helps you with that problem" Don't mind if I do.
derkster 6
Wtf are we having Story time on fml lmao?^^^^
ManInTheMachine 20
reddudeover: And your comments are joy from heaven above, right? I don't think so. If half (if not more) of mine are bashing people, then half of yours are buried. The people that I 'bash' fall under this category : -'That sucks OP.' -'Wow' -'Your an idiot.' -Blatant ignorance about an issue. -Trolls that make idiotic comments solely to piss people off. -Anyone that falls in between. Unfortunately, people like this are abundant on this site, which is why it seems like I'm always attacking somebody. But I do not just attack people for no reason. In fact, the other 'half' of my comments are cracking jokes and having fun with other commenters. So yes, I do have faults, but nobody is perfect. You can go ahead and dislike me, but you'll have to get that I don't care what someone I've never met thinks of me. I hope I haven't hindered your FML experience in any way. Please accept my deepest apologies.
kitkat789 2
I didn't think it was that bad! But really who I'm I?? ^_^
anoellem 1
Can everyone just stop and realize you're having an Internet argument on FML... Just stop.
JessalynVictoria 6
Well damn... I thought it was funny y'all.
flockz 20
this thread is the equivalent to a bunch of naked guys in a room bragging about who fills a 3 inch condom more.
reddudeover 2
123 - You keep saying you don't care but, you take the time to write these long winded comments. :
robinhood007 9
147 - I'm glad at least you realized this. People, y'all need to stop taking things so seriously. His comments suck because they're always so overdone. I can have my opinions like you. It's as if FML is your life and you judge your self worth on how many thumbs up you have...like someone else already said..he tries too hard, hence why his comment is buried, mines buried because people are too sensitive.
alexup24 13
53- You completed my ******* day
horseraddish 4
Please stop posting
xleanne_aLly 23
Holy ****, who cares about comments?
amy1_1bee 0
Dafuq did I just read.
bizarre_ftw 22
And now we all drop it and move along
DaRito 25
I too bash the "aww so sorry op things will get better soon don't worry :)" people.
KnightAngela1109 10
Just tell them your extra cautious....Do you know how many diseases your boxers carry.:)
ghirahim 5
You're *
hockeyoceancity 13
Here i'll help you out. You're stupid. Your english teacher is ashamed of you. That's correct usage if the words, learn something new everyday!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Or his briefs...
CaptTeemo 10
I think 97 was correcting the first "your" in the comment. Unless your just getting mad at him for being a grammar nazi
luckyd880 12
Ya but they corrected wrong. "you're" doesn't make sense. That would be like saying "you are" which doesn't fit. So original commenter was right.
FML_Master2133 6
You guys are dumb. There are two 'your's in the comment. The first one is wrong, the second one is right. Goodness, do you guys learn anything? If I get buried, that would mean no.
beelee1988 13
119 - of* . Sorry, that was bothering me.
Octain 13
No his correction was correct. It was for the 1st "your"
doglover569 0
First "your" should be you're. Second "your" is corrected. Almost all of you on this are wrong!
crichards85 4
Your is possessive duh!
thebaddayblues 3
Hmmm... I wonder how that ended up?
kevin7879 0
well you would know if ya red it the first time
therealslim 15
Actually, 140, it doesn't say how it ended And by the way, you spell it 'read'.. Jus' saying
jordan3194 0
Just* saying*