Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
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Top comments
asoptavlo14 6
At least you used protection.
yankfan89 27
If you are afraid of your girlfriends parents finding out your are having sex maybe you shouldn't do it in their house.
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Comments (264)
bieberfreak18 0
Coulda been worse.
Calyx_fml 22
Santorum?
molliepop19 5
Who had to pick that up?
LauraJayneC 7
Well, did you pick it back up or just leave it there?
Straightricking 1
Was it full or not lol
Llamacod 11
I'm guessing not only because 1 it fell off his dick so it would have to be empty unless his dick fell off too and 2 I don't know if you've ever seen a male human ejaculate, but its only about 2-5 milliliters which is no where near enough to fill up a condom.
gr8koolkat 6
I'm pretty sure 18 was only asking if he had actually finished the job before the parents came home, as having cum in the end of the condom would've made this moment just a taaaad more awkward. A valid question, just worded appallingly.
KingCeltic77 18
YOU BETTER RUN MUTHAF$&@ER!
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
If I were you, I wouldn't be showing my face in their home any time soon...
Quinn32 16
Deny everything! Claim it is not yours and it has always been there. Then tell him he needs to clean his kitchen more often.
Megan98 18
Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix.
mvems 13
The most perfect twix moment ever!
numbersystem 4
:) lol
AppallingRogue 2
*takes out a twix bar and chews thoughtfully* Oh well those damn alien garden gnomes are out to get me....
183933 6
This was a perfect comment... Thanks for making me laugh :D
Megan98 18
Thanks, and no problem. (:
perdix 31
Did he ask if he could turn it inside out and use it on Mom?
TarieBoo 2
then his daughters ****** would be like all on him? and OP semen would get in mom
crazy4uboi 6
That's gross! Why, in the name of God, would ANYONE reuse a condom?!
angelk12 6
Umm... *cough* have you ever seen a condom? They're not double sided.. Helpful hint for the future to avoid a sticky situation. :)
perdix 31
#84, too late. My efforts to go "green" have backfired! "Reduce, reuse, recycle" should have an asterisk saying "except for condoms." Yowza!
Isoldael 27
Al Bundy: "Hey... It broke! How could that have happened, it worked perfectly the first three times!"
RedPillSucks 33
Silly. You get 4 uses. 2nd use is inside out. 3rd use, you tie up the open end and cut the tip off. 4th use, inside out again.
SquiddlyDiddly 4
#98... "Reduce, reuse, recycle" I wish I could like that comment a thousand times.
molliepop19 5
208- Does anybody actually do something that disgustingly stupid?
MerrikBarbarian 9
Haha had that happen before. Well not the condom falling on the floor, but the rest of it? Yeah. :p
elk21dbm 18
Cool story bro
Alan2 24
Considering that the condom falling out was the whole thing that made this an FML, your story isn't very relatable. All you've told us is that you've had sex before. Congratulations. So has a large percentage of the world.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Actually sex interrupted by parents coming home and mad scramble for clothes also was a factor here I believe. ;)