Rough
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
Imagirll 3
show them your drivers license..
ckyorelse 18
Hi! Billy Mays here with the all new Magic Age Reducer! born in 1979? Let's try 1992! With the all new Magic Age Reducer, you can get out of any warrant thrown your way!
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Comments (216)
zaksyak 1
FURST!
Calyx_fml 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cops are dumb.
rompgr 0
law suit!
silvermoonstar3 3
Didn't happen. It would have already hit the news.
maz_irken 6
what's your pic?
Lespaulluapsel 0
Do you realize the ignorance that goes on when you categorize people?
iamfunny 0
yeah cops really are stupid. they get bored so they go around arresting anyone they want and making up reasons...
WishResign 0
and they wonder why so many are quick to call 'em pigs. this is common behavior for those that swore to 'serve & protect', it's not surprising.
bubble25_fml 5
some cops are dumb, speciall the one who gave me a ticket last week =.=
BigNik 0
I agree, cops are freakin idiots.
TylersMB 0
so true. but not all cops are stupid. but a majority of them are. law suit for pain and suffering!
stfuitscindeeeh9 3
If you don't like cops, don't be one.
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
not all cops are bad, my dad wasn't a bad cop, even though he put a lot of bad people in prison. so don't call all cops pigs, it's a stereotype just like all Americans are fat or all British have bad teeth, it's not entirely true
tstevenson 0
**** u!
PurpleRae420 0
Cops are stupid sometimes! And the pizza man gets to your house faster !!! If you realy were born in 1992 you better prove it before you end up in prison for crimes you didn't commit because you were too much of a pussy to stand up for yourself !!!
luvppl 6
please don't say that. my dad is a police officer and so is my mom and they are nice people
luvppl 6
*dad
herrobear 0
It's funny how most of the people who say cops are pigs have the mental capacity of a three year old. Some cops are bad, and some make mistakes, but most try their best to do good.
A7X_LoVeee 10
So I don't understand why 31 received so many negative votes. He's right. Not all cops are 'bad' and not all cops are dumb. Sure some are but that doesn't include all of them. I bet those who rag on cops have gotten in trouble with them before. Here's some advice: Follow the ******* law.
lulututu 4
115 finally, someone with a brain. :)
givants 0
I think cops have thrown logic and common sense out if the window
Shadow4i5 3
cop's kids r dumb asses I went to school were literally all the parents were cops so now that their older they break into stores and get drunk because they parents protect them
lolzforfun228 3
I think that probably both sides of this argument are incorrect. There are probably plenty of cops who are straight as an arrow and are completely competent at their job, as are there probably cops who are completely ******* corrupt or just really really stupid. And there are also probably a lot that fall inbetween.
simply_improper 1
previous life?
bluegoldfish 7
dude, saying cops are dumb is like any stereotype-it's too much of a generalisation to even be considered true. there are smart people, dumb people, good people and bad people in the police force just as much as in everyday life. ideally, there would actually be fewer bad or dumb people working as cops than in the general population since there's a selection process to become a cop, but idk if that's the case. either way, stereotyping is just stupid.
bbucaro98 0
hey guys- do any of you have oovoo acounts? friend me! (mikey319)
valalvax 13
I'm assuming there's something op isn't telling us, like maybe how he tried to flee, or was a general douchebag
pvtpilot 0
tried that in court dude, who are they going to believe, a cop or a guy trying to protect his pocketbook? it doesn't work. cops frustrate me too
dolphincheddar 10
cops abuse their power as the law and are part of the corrupt American government. death to the opression and long live the illuminati!! all cops shall be eliminated at the time of the new world order. 2012 is on it's way insignificant mortals. are you prepared?
WishResign 0
112, I'm assuming you live a very sheltered life. ALL my experiences with cops have been bad. and no, I was never in trouble, but my family has called the cops on occasion for serious stuff & the cops did nothing but harrass the victims. my friend's stepdad tried to kill his mom & the cops didn't do anything but treat her like shit. a person ran a stop sign & totalled my car & the cops took care of the driver at fault (who was fine) & I was trapped in a smashed car for over an hour.... you have no idea what you're talking about. they're all pigs to me.
CateXOX 0
159- Yeah, because you've met every single cop out there. Just because all the ones you've encountered have been bad doesn't mean they all are.
Idonebeenhad 17
some cops are good, some cops are stupid and abuse their power. some British people have bad teeth and some don't. some americans are fat and some aren't. I could go on all day doing this, but you get the point.
josiahambrose 0
stereotypes ate based on truth
teddy4nyy 13
there are dick cops just like there are dick people
cummbubble 0
many cops are republicans. so they are dumb obviously
angrymexican 8
i hope all of u guys realize cops don't arrest people based on what they want, but what they are told to do. it just a common mistake
luna4545 4
38 cops dont arrest people for no reason...you have probably been arrested and that's why u say that. all the kids who were friends with the guy who stole my car were sittin there saying free him he didn't do shit..or my friends who are in jail for armed robbery a bunch of people are saying the same thing..cops are doing their job and protecting their society by enforcing the law..they don't arrest people because they are bored and feel like it..they arrest people because they feel they are a threat and have to have a just cause..However in this case the cops were idiots because they didn't not see that op and the person with the warrant and two separate people.
FlipInBrosky 4
Actually most Americans are.
ipodseller 0
if you take 5 and divide it by 2 it comes out in a decimal
omg_a_BALLOON 0
do you want a cookie for finding that out?
fluffbunny 0
lol it's funny that only people who received tickets call cops bad because they got caught breaking the law, breaking the law!
KittenLionFace 6
To everyone who says that people who hate cops are dumb obviously haven't met any cops. I live in Britain (and btw my teeth are perfect) and there's recently been a case where a policeman beat an innocent man which resulted in internal bleeding causing the man to die. Not only did the policeman responsible not own up but he also tried to cover it up. the police regulate themselves meaning they can do whatever they want and get away with it. And just incase you say "that's just one example" Did anyone see the student protests? There was a boy in a wheelchair protesting and the police picked him out of his chair and DRAGGED him away from the riots. of course because the police are their own regulators they said this was for the boys own safety, however the boy said he didn't ask to be moved and he was in no danger at all. In fact the boy said that the police believed that because he was in a wheelchair that he couldn't act with autonomy. There's two high profile cases in the UK alone. Now think about how many there are that aren't in the public eye. It's not that big a jump to understand that a lot of police will abuse their power and their "above the law" status. To those who say their parent works for the police force, that's all very well. I think you have a different view because you know someone in the force, so since the police in your area know who you are they won't be assholes to you because they've had a chance to get to know you. Everyone who has never met a cop leaves a first impression. So if they get pulled over for something trivial on the way to work and they say the wrong thing then the cop is going to be extra dickish just because he thinks the person he pulled over is an ass. Took me a while to get my point across but I think I've made it now.
omgwtfbbq69 5
wtf 93...???
monkeebalz 0
i would fight back if it was a false accusation and hit him in his damn face
omgwtfbbq69 5
#136
nerdchic 5
the only people who say that cops are dumb are the trouble makers... FYI if you get caught you probably deserve whatever punishment they give you. duh
MrHughJass 0
93 -facepalm- You're a idiot.
nerdchic 5
apparently 245 is a delinquent bc of her ignorance of police. look - do you know why you only see bad cops on the news? it's bc scandal sells. for every bad cop there are 20 good cops who do the right thing. quit nagging that you got tickets - these people protect you - learn to respect them. I'm becoming a police officer - am I going to beat the shit out of you? no- I'm going to do my job - quit being so damn ignorant
omgwtfbbq69 5
#136
Upon_A_Burning_B 0
256, I don't think all cops are bad, but why should I respec them? Respect is earned, not givin. if they've personally done nothing to earn my respect, I won't give it.
eyepuppy 31
I like how 123 says cop's kids are dumb, yet he doesn't know how to make a proper sentence.
MrFlintstone 5
hey all these people who are protecting the cops are right. you see you have only met/heard of bad cops. you see it's like this I have only met/ heard of bad terrorist but they could be some very nice people.
eyepuppy 31
274, you're a twat. Everyone remember, man of the law is there to protect the innocent. Sometimes greed and power can get in the way, but try to understand that people aim to harm cops. They are trained to defend themselves when attacked and subdue a suspect. Sometimes what looks like a hard hit is not really a hard hit. if you've even taken martial arts, you'd know that fast takedowns are effective but look painful. If you say you need to fight back from a cop, then you deserve to get your ass kicked.
monzach 5
everyone complaining about cops should just shut up. A lot of them work night and day risking their lives and catching criminals to help keep the community safe and all you guys do is bitch about one-time incidents in which you ended up fine. Try spending a week in the life of a cop and you'd probably make some mistakes too and you'd also see that they're generally good people, some just make bad choices
saphiresong 0
yeah. and everyone else goes to ur school too. not all cops kids r like that
mikeymike96 7
unless he can prove he wasn't alive yet
chicklets97 3
Lol
Tsunami87 17
that's police brutality right there!
A7X_LoVeee 10
277 - Are you kidding me? Just stop posting moron.
zendaddy0 0
I told op that time traveling while drunk was a bad idea
iamfunny 0
221 first of all, ive never been arrested, haha. second, you dont even know shit about cops. there are different kinds of cops. and the cop that op was talking about is a dumb county cop who works the roads and has almost 0 athority. so before you start saying dumb ass things... stop and think, no matter how hard it is for you
iamfunny 0
221. youre a dumb shit and probably know nothing, as shown by your dumb ass comment haha
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
To much donuts and coffee perhaps?
zojieeu 6
yeah cop sucks
whitey53 5
Your an idiot.
bluegoldfish 7
38, i want to like you because of your picture, but everything you say is either wrong or makes no sense, so you're not making it easy. cops don't have the authority to just arrest whoever they want, so check your facts before you post. in your words, just stop and think, however hard that may be.
JJuliAA 0
have any of you heard of 9-11 where hundreds of cops gave their life's to protect you and here you are insulting them! wow some nerve! everyone makes mistakes!
JJuliAA 0
I'm a cops kid and a strait a student shows how much he knows
JJuliAA 0
oops *straight
angrymexican 8
I knew this would get thumbs downed but just telling you
sylphy 0
274 Because... they're the police? The best way of describing them is like... they're your parents away from your parents. Granted, there are a few that should have stopped while they were ahead but most of them are looking out for YOUR safety. As for why you should respect them? Most of them put their lives on the line everyday to keep order in your communities. With little gratitude, long hours, and on call at any time.
thesock339 0
I think the word you are looking for isn't "terrorist." A terrorist is someone who seeks power by using fear tactics. "Good terrorist" seems like a bit of an oxymoron.
crazycornn 0
249 - except then they could arrest you legitimately, for assaulting a police officer. fighting the police is one of the stupidest things you could do. it's also probably what they wanted OP to do so they could say they arrested them for assaulting an officer/resisting arrest.
PattisonDaStud 0
Cops are doushebags.. nuff said trolololololo
DrDreTheChronic 0
I hate cops and u were born in a good year, the chronic came out in 1992
b0redom 0
twat?
jordynwebber 0
very... indeed
trooper250 0
or be one and make a difference
CantTouchThat 29
Yea..unfortunately not all posts on here are real. This one doesn't make a lick of sense. Especially if they dont look 42 as opposed to their actual age of 19.. Whoops.., better luck posting a REAL story next time OP.
Imagirll 3
show them your drivers license..
dreamering 16
Of course, it's common sense, especially after having his ass kicked.
khaya 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"Look, at my driver's license!" "My a baton to the head, will keep you quiet." "No, please, I have a migraine." "I wasn't talking about that head."
yake12 0
53 - that was the stupidest comment I've ever read on here
iamfunny 0
53 scares me..... anywayss, im sure he TRIED at least showing the officer his license...
khaya 9
I can do worse.
Imagirll 3
#29. if they said something like "you have warrants from 1972" I'm pretty sure I would show them my drivers license that said I was born in 1992 if I were OP.
tktom7 6
is it ironic at all that I was the 1975th person to agree that his life sucks?
tktom7 6
1979th
BrokenDreamer24 15
I'm pretty sure he tried, but then he got slammed into his car because the cops though he was going to pull a gun or something. What is happening to us?
fmlsaves 0
arrest first and ask questions later =
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
They would possibly assume it's a fake.
WOGBRO 6
119- that is very ironic.
MsSoulReaper 27
They'll probably be like, "Fake divers license! You are not 19!" and then add it to OPs list of crimes.
joshijosh 0
lol only in oklahoma. My dad got put in jail for a night 'cause the police department messed up.
Got_any_grapes1 4
I think 53 is funny!
ScreamingSkullz9 0
well obviously they let him out
SystemofaBlink41 27
53- Were you trying to make it sound like a cheap porno?
similies06 0
oops..
dc295 3
whats that supposed to mean?
Tsui 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for failing to prove your innocence. What, you're well over 18 now.
iamfunny 0
uh... hes either 18 or 19 years old. way over 18? i think not...
bigred7070 0
innocent untill proven guilty. not the other way around.
CSRozell 4
lmao you're ******* retarded
whoisthisgirl 4
I was born in 1992 and I'm not well over 18. I'm 18.. do math better next time? it wont make you look as dumb when you post a comment.
bentleysdad11611 0
that's 19 not that far over 18 and maybe he's one of those goody goody kids who just started crying
matizzy 3
Look it's obvious that OP is a witch and deserves to be burned at the stake.
swimchica22 0
wouldn't they be actually 18.... :/
MetalLetteRaver 0
Lmfao. I'm Wiccan and I find that funny as shit. xD
flighted 1
131 people found your comment extremely dumb. what an accomplishment
Trickiest_K 9
You are deadset a ******* retard
UnicornPukePink 0
Harsh.
mexicotoucher 7
Couldn't he put them under citizen's arrest? Or is that not how it works?
laden_swallow09 35
No, that's not how it works
Zalandia 0
ah law enforcement these days. can't live with them, can't live without them :P
none_for_me 5
I think we can live without them!!
xmayne 0
welcome to bring black.
Zalandia 0
dude, take time to think, I mean SERIOUSLY think, what life would be like.
Zalandia 0
without cops
cobaltss06 1
We can live without them but most people feel better with them even tho half of them are dirty pigs...
Nyx7 24
Absolutely could live without em. Bunch of crazy people
Jrefinne 7
Threw what on the ground? Ohhhh, you were THROWN.
NirvantioNxTFR 1
The police didn't get him, the Grammar Nazis did!
dudeitsdanny 10
Were they grammatical error warrants? Then he deserves it for time-traveling just to conjugate verbs incorrectly.
yuggi1 11
Well... you got to consider the time you spent on the womb and on your dad's ball sack, after all.
bubble25_fml 5
to be fair he was only his dad's ballsack for about a day so... yeah...
visualaesthetics 7
in* not on.
yuggi1 11
It was a joke. :P
Daviddwd 0
no sperms only last 2 weeks. however, u were up ur moms vag 7 months before SHE was born
tettles 0
dumbass
ShinigamiKurosak 0
unless there's incest involved
ShinigamiKurosak 0
unless there's incest involved
hellyeahmirjam 2
wow they're REALLY stupid