Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
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Comments (161)
martinv19 6
How old r u?
Xathanos 16
Look at the username
groupleader 7
#1 we can assume by the name that op is 23 and a toddler. Sounds like to me OP, you were at the crappiest place on earth. Just remember...it's a small world after all.
herrobear 0
Jumped by six year olds, right. More like, "Today, I had to babysit, fml." In that case, I hope it paid well OP, sounds like a nightmare.
Roevera 14
maybe they were Disney representatives. Oh wait, Disney doesn't beat you.. they just take all your money.
gfoxx17iv 0
Nobody asked you noor
nofearjenshere 12
^ Prepare to be buried.
olpally 32
88- it's called being nice... Don't be such a dick about it... Asshole...
banana_buddy 6
You got gang raped by a group of 6 year olds... FOR FREE? Hey some of us have to pay for that kind of service.
TarieBoo 2
120) what the **** you sick bastard... and what if they were just midget girls in princess masks......? or OP is insanely weak
Jonkbaby 22
they start so soooo young. ;)
untamed112 0
How were you "savagely" beaten by small children you should have been able to well beat the shit out of them with like your foot
ALpein 0
No 1, how old are you?
mirandaelcraig 13
#141 he..he's twenty three. If he had hurt even one of the kids and they decided to go cry to their parents, he could have been sued. even thougj the kids started it "mature adults are not allowed to hit minors" . No matter how deserving.
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
sonrisapreciosa 6
Maybe they were midgets -_-
SqueakyChipmunk 21
The 7th one is on break, and Op got caught banging Snow White by the other 6
CallMeMcFeelii 13
One thing I don't understand is how 6 year olds can savegely beat someone. Couldn't you just run away, or fight them off with a 2 foot stick?
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Answer: Steroids.
Il_Maestro 6
Offering food, especially of a poisonous variety, to strange children is sure to land you in jail.
PYLrulz 17
49 - You don't say!
Zomg_Okay 26
49 - Only if you get caught. Not that I'd know anything about avoiding capture...
SqueakyChipmunk 21
49- It's called a sense of humor. Get one. 52- This is one of the few times where that phrase is acceptable. Awesome timing. I personally prefer "No shit, Sherlock."
RedPillSucks 31
Maybe OP was Pedo Bear, and they found out he didn't actually have lollipops in his van, or a lost puppy.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Don't mess with them kids. They mean some serious business
nerobluerose 10
You weren't raped too were you? Then you'll have problems.
tjv3 10
I would never ever ever speak of this again with anyone
nerobluerose 10
Sorry. Would saying at least you weren't sexually harassed by the kids, that would have been awkward, be any better?
kthsdm 12
Word. Its those anabolic cereals they chomp down every morning.
btwmellarkc 11
Little kids these days are vicious. I remember when i was chased by a mob Of 10 thrid graders, and my teacher that we were playing
Wizardly01 6
I hate your picture bro! Its scary as hell!
GingerPanda94 6
Some children can just sense hostility OP...FYL
Demonfish 14
That and fear.... They smell fear, beware! :O
edhere4u2nv 0
Punt them!
GingerPanda94 6
Am I making the right career choice in wanting to work with them?? Lol
Vociferouslife 4
That's the saddest thing I've heard today. Wow, F your life indeed.
mvems 13
Really? You probably don't watch the news much, it's nothing but bad...news.
lopsop 12
He was talking sad as in meaning that it was sad that a 23 year old toddler was beaten by children
Vociferouslife 4
Mvems, maybe you should already know that the word "sad" is pretty subjective. As such, a 23 yr old gettin beaten by prepubescent kids is sad to me. But most news is sensational and has tremendous spin, just like all the posts we so highly enjoy!
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
cookie_crumble89 11
Where the hell do you live?!
Il_Maestro 6
Never never land. Apparently they thought he was a pirate. Should've never grown up.
a_purple_orange 4
Today me and my other little people friends put on some Disney princess masks and beat the shit out of this idiot
GingerPanda94 6
I rest my case with no.2's comment.
SliceOfCake 9
Thanks for letting us know that.
derkster 6
Starting at a young age... :/
nofearjenshere 12
Kids start everything at young ages nowadays. Drugs, sex and who knows what else. It's sad.
smydiwannafthata 5
Now you know how Cinderella felt.
smartone1947 0
I think you mean snow white...but yeah