Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
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Top comments
Imagirll 3
show them your drivers license..
ckyorelse 18
Hi! Billy Mays here with the all new Magic Age Reducer! born in 1979? Let's try 1992! With the all new Magic Age Reducer, you can get out of any warrant thrown your way!
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Comments (216)
SirBedevere 0
Maybe they thought you were the reincarnation of a criminal from the past and wanted to get you back for those years of crime? No?
FMLoverAgain 7
exactly my thought
icyfire617 10
or they couldve gone back in time. :D
Thanatos1206 0
Outstanding warrants??? They were that good, huh?
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Must have been to be arrest worthy 31 years on ;)
BountyBass 13
is your name Marty McFly?
ckyorelse 18
Hi! Billy Mays here with the all new Magic Age Reducer! born in 1979? Let's try 1992! With the all new Magic Age Reducer, you can get out of any warrant thrown your way!
sematariux 7
lmao
dudeitsdanny 10
You made me burst out laughing during a lecture on Bulgarian culture.. hahaha.
sheethapins 13
14 = Win
CSRozell 4
lmao thank you for that
staceysgenesis16 0
bahaha! thats too funny.
SpicyDuck 22
You forgot to use caps! XD
mylastserenade90 2
is your user name cky or else like the band!?!? cause that's my favorite band of all time
iloveyouchung 0
that's ******' rude you asshole.
ckyorelse 18
125 yes sir 128 well that's not very nice now is it?
236schertzi 1
Thanks! That was an awesome comment!
236schertzi 1
Thanks! That was an awesome comment!
236schertzi 1
Thanks! That was an awesome comment!
bentleysdad11611 0
u really do look like Billy mays dude props on that .. but kinda messed up and watch out his family might try to sue you but keep it up your funny !
JacksonCampbell 9
It's funny because you look like Billy Mays.
johnnie254 7
WIN, EPIC WIN LMAO!!
birdfreak 24
ur a ghost? ur supposed to be dead! 0_0
peakcheer 2
14- really funny. but is it just me that noticed he looks a lot like Billy Mays?
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Um, curious as to how?
AggieDoesIt 2
you could prove that it wasnt you -.-
Lespaulluapsel 0
That would be all too easy.
ceddyz17 10
damn reincarnations
dudeitsdanny 10
You deserve it for traveling to the past, and committing crimes/infractions. You deserve it for driving while unborn. You deserve it for being the reincarnation of someone with outstanding warrants. But really, that sucks, I hope you can get compensated in some way for their incompetence.
67gtojake 7
the only way to get compensation is to sue but then most of the cops around will hate you. have fun getting out of a ticket then. you could try just threatening to use a lawyer. it probable wouldn't work but it's worth a shot. ps it's 4 police brutality.
jazzybabiboo 0
wow how old do you look? because that's a huge difference in age there...
moshimoshi1993 8
Yeah, the real FML here is that a 19 year old kid looks like they're in their mid 30's.
kristylew03 1
Older than that... The warrants were from 1979 and he'd probably have to be at least a teenager when they were issued, so that'd make him at least 50.
my2centsworth 15
I agree. OP would have to look at least 20 years older than he actually is. Someone's led a hard life.......
nerobluerose 10
Benjamin Button?
jazzybabiboo 0
I love your comments
iAmScrubs 19
-Excerpt from bloopers of the show Cops-