Happy wife, happy life

By seriously - 12/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I got married and my wife has since gained over forty pounds of unhealthy weight. She's not depressed, she's very happy with the marriage, she's just "comfortable" now. We are in our early thirties, and we started off as workout partners. I've been going to the gym alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 732
You deserved it 207
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Top comments

Chazzster 28

People, men and women, have a right to be the person they want to be regardless of how they look to others. But there are consequences - If once you are married you become a significantly different person than the person they were when they married or entered the relationship then there will be consequences... It's not that uncommon for a man or woman once they feel they have entered into a stable relationship to stop trying to be "desirable". They might get unhealthily overweight, they might lose interest in sex, they might become a slob, they might just be always grumpy or on edge. Any of these things can become a deal breaker if their partner feels they have been misled as to who they are in a relationship with. That often leads to dissatisfaction in a relationship and can lead to infidelity or divorce... When this happens, it's best to be honest, though not judgmental, with your partner and try to work through what is going on. If it cannot be resolved, and it's an important issue then it's far better to separate first and then look for another companion. That won't leave you with such terrible guilt and ill feelings as infidelity will.

13 1
Iamthebanzai22 21

Dude, no. You need to have a serious talk and end things if necessary. My brother got caught the same way: His wife ****** his brains out until the ring was on his finger. After that, it just stopped. He didn't take action then and now he has been unhappy for the last 20 years of marriage. You are just going to get more and more resentful and eventually you will cheat on her. Yes, I do agree with 'for better or worse', but that doesn't cover someone who just completely changes after marriage. For some people. being the best version of ourselves is a thing. You thought it was for her but clearly she misrepresented herself.

10 2

Comments

dongdong xiang 10

When you put that rock on your wife’s finger you agreed to love her for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, etc. If you think gaining 40lbs is deplorable, you need to go see a ******* shrink. people gain weight. get over it. what? you’re gonna cheat on her now because she doesn’t fit your standards of fitness? shame on you.

8 14
Iamthebanzai22 21

Dude, no. You need to have a serious talk and end things if necessary. My brother got caught the same way: His wife ****** his brains out until the ring was on his finger. After that, it just stopped. He didn't take action then and now he has been unhappy for the last 20 years of marriage. You are just going to get more and more resentful and eventually you will cheat on her. Yes, I do agree with 'for better or worse', but that doesn't cover someone who just completely changes after marriage. For some people. being the best version of ourselves is a thing. You thought it was for her but clearly she misrepresented herself.

10 2
dongdong xiang 10

“For Better or For Worse” did I stutter?

0 9
Chazzster 28

People, men and women, have a right to be the person they want to be regardless of how they look to others. But there are consequences - If once you are married you become a significantly different person than the person they were when they married or entered the relationship then there will be consequences... It's not that uncommon for a man or woman once they feel they have entered into a stable relationship to stop trying to be "desirable". They might get unhealthily overweight, they might lose interest in sex, they might become a slob, they might just be always grumpy or on edge. Any of these things can become a deal breaker if their partner feels they have been misled as to who they are in a relationship with. That often leads to dissatisfaction in a relationship and can lead to infidelity or divorce... When this happens, it's best to be honest, though not judgmental, with your partner and try to work through what is going on. If it cannot be resolved, and it's an important issue then it's far better to separate first and then look for another companion. That won't leave you with such terrible guilt and ill feelings as infidelity will.

13 1
dongdong xiang 10

Because marriage is all about sex and having a hot body, right? For better or for worse (until you become ugly and old) right? smh who raised you

0 8
Iamthebanzai22 21

This is not about weight. It's about her misrepresenting herself as someone to who being healthy is a priority, which it clearly isn't. OP is clearly someone who believes in making healthy lifestyle choices, and he thought he was marrying someone who shared this goal.

4 0
EricW 4

you have to be honest with her : a diet or a quick divorce. If she’s happy with being fat, good for her. But you don’t have to stick around

5 2
dongdong xiang 10

“Til death do us part….. until you get fat” Seriously? this generation doesn’t get the sanctity of marriage anymore no wonder the divorce rate is so high. People be quick to throw shit away over trivial shit. If you can’t handle a bitch gaining some weight then don’t get married. get a ******* sex doll or use your left hand

0 4
everlong2120 2

You’re being petty. If you really love her, this shouldn’t even slow you down. Quit being a wanker and enjoy your wife and marriage.

1 1
Iamthebanzai22 21

Look, some people simply are not sexually attracted to overweight people. That is why we don't date them. OP thought he was marrying a girl who would put effort into remaining attractive, just as he is putting effort in. Some people don't mind extra weight but some do. It's not something you can just change through logic. It's the same as being straight or gay: You simply are attracted to what you're attracted to and you make your life choices accordingly.

3 1
dongdong xiang 10

Thank you OMG finally someone who gets it.

0 1
dongdong xiang 10

@Iamthebanzai22 Because marriage is all about being sexually attractive right? you do realize that looks fade and people grow old and gray right? when you marry someone you take them into all your glory even when the “beauty” is gone. Marriage is more than just having a hot body. If you can’t handle that concept then don’t get married. Get a sex doll that never ages and remains fat free for life.

0 1
Iamthebanzai22 21

Debating with an intelligent person is hard but debating with an idiot is impossible.

1 0
D J's MOM 17

the haters need to chill out. accepting someone for who they are is one thing but that doesn't mean that you have to marry them. you like who you like, that's your own personal preference. it sounds like your wife conned you and was only working out to get the ring on her finger. have a conversation and give her a chance to get healthy again. if she refuses then you are not to blame. what she has done was sneaky and unfair to you.

2 0
Nico97 3

so much hate. for better or for worse doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior. getting comfortable is disrespectful and shows one is taking the marriage for granted. painting op as a pig because he is hurt that his wife stopped putting in effort for him is ridiculous.

0 0