Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Imagirll 3
show them your drivers license..
ckyorelse 18
Hi! Billy Mays here with the all new Magic Age Reducer! born in 1979? Let's try 1992! With the all new Magic Age Reducer, you can get out of any warrant thrown your way!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (216)
quadder 0
no education + badge + gun = dumb cops on power trip
sabrinahusic 0
they do have an education dumbass. maybe op should tell us why he got pulled over?!
DalPozzo13 10
Sue them
denvan 0
That sucks big time. Do you look tat old if you were born in 1992?
kothdraven_fml 0
Id sue the shit out of the department excessive force profileing unlawful arrest ect...
sabrinahusic 0
you're a stupid bitch
aceOH 2
"spread your cheeks and lift your nut sack" "oh Mr. Chappell why didn't you just say it was you."
fizzypop14 3
cops love to get a big dick about everything
solayback 0
wow, major bullshit so how in the world they dont manage to make a mistake light that oooh wait idiots that explins it.
solayback 0
excuse my grammar im on the train squash-up lol
Jellybean2705 0
It's not the cop that's dumb. They're just doing their job. Bad information in the system is to blame.
SserPrun95 2
Never undersestimate the stupidity of the cops or what they will do when bored.
flighted 1
Wait a minute. The system is to blame for them beating somebody who is around 18 who probably does not look like they were born in the year the warrants were placed? ...Tell me how that works again?
iPunchedBigFoot 5
I laugh at the people who are hating on cops. Yet they'll be the first ones to call 911 when something goes wrong.