Picture game

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

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Intimacy

Superficial World

Crowded House

Close Zoom, quick sharp

By Anonymous - United States - Memphis

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

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By fububc - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

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By unknown - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

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By JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

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By Mary

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

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By Anonyme - France - G?anges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

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By ohmylordy - United States

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

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By unlolable4321 - United States

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

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By HereForJAMMF

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

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By not_this_shit_again - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pleasant Grove

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

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By :) - Greece

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

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By thisistypical - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

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By Username - Singapore

Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML

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By marsbar - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

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By RetailRage - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Antonio

Today, I'm neck-deep in debt paying for med school. What's worse, the professors here are so terrible that even the morons on Yahoo Answers are 100 times better at explaining my coursework to me. FML

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By dragonstooth257

Today, I'm so bad at people skills when I got a call to set up a job interview, I weirded the lady out so much that she trailed off when talking about emailing me a time. This took 2 minutes to achieve. A new record. I still haven't got an email. FML

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By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle, FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

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By rosie21030 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, I was the bridesmaid for my dad and my stepmum's wedding. As I was walking down the aisle, I tripped and fell over my high heels, hit my head on the armrest of a wooden chair on the way down, and passed out. I now have a concussion and a broken ankle. The wedding went on without me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Modesto

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

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By ineedalife - Australia

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

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By Falafax - United States

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

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By Catholicguy - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

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By Lexi - United States

Waiting For Godot 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, my muscles are sore in my arm. I told my boyfriend I think I slept on it wrong. Truth is, it's from masturbation. He won't have sex until we're married. FML

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By Uglyshirts - South Africa

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my wannabe psychologist of a brother accused me of lying about all the violence and emotional abuse my ex inflicted on me, all because I went into "too much detail" when describing it, which he says is something only liars do. Thanks for the support. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

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By unlucky - Canada

Today, I attended a focus group. Since I've been unemployed for a month now I thought the $60 would come in handy. By the time I finished someone had broken into my car, stole my GPS and MP3 player. FML

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By nycplywood - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

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By fistycunt4 - United States - Belmont

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

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By piss off - United States - Vancouver

Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML

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By Username - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

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By Theguyinthedark - Bangladesh

Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

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By ALLALA - Canada

Today, my husband and I were watching TV. An info-mercial came on for a diamond cross necklace that had the lord's prayer engraved inside of it. As the commercial ended I said, "who in their right mind would actually buy that?" Turns out, my husband would, for our anniversary. FML

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Top comments

By shortasiangirl | 18

#7863591 - Sunday 1 December 2019 20:15

Did he say it had to be a picture of you? Respond with a photo of a untrimmed hedge!

By Helen Barrett | 4

#7863601 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:25

Send him a screenshot of a webpage explaining what a vagina is and he'll hopefully understand that you can't shave one! Or just dump the idiot. If he doesn't know what a vagina is do you really want him near yours?

COMMENTS

By shortasiangirl | 18

#7863591 - Sunday 1 December 2019 20:15

Did he say it had to be a picture of you? Respond with a photo of a untrimmed hedge!

By Helen Barrett | 4

#7863601 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:25

By Jackey | 29

#7863606 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:56

Did you ask him if he shaved his? Because he sounds like a real twat.

By Susan Yee | 9

#7863613 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:12

Send a picture of a word of yes or no. Duh.

By juggalo2 | 13

#7863619 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:26

And you sent him a picture of a Maine Coon kitten. It would be adorable! What's the problem?

By pieter82 | 14

#7863620 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:34

Still utterly flabbergasted how some 'relations' seem to be. How long are you together? He hasn't ever seen you naked?

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7863866 - Monday 2 December 2019 19:54

He probably has, but he still wanted the picture.

tounces7 | 27

#7863943 - Tuesday 3 December 2019 4:43

If he's already seen her naked then I doubt a picture would be that big of a deal.

By Iamthebanzai22 | 18

#7863652 - Monday 2 December 2019 0:47

I think he wants to see your pussy.

By Matthew Irmen | 11

#7863662 - Monday 2 December 2019 1:36

You’ve got to be creative. Maybe a picture of a hairy cat or one of the hairless varieties could fill the bill. Make it fun not literal

By DaDezza244 | 31

#7863671 - Monday 2 December 2019 2:47

This is an old FML post...

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7863673 - Monday 2 December 2019 3:18

He should know the answer to that already. Unless you haven’t had sex.