By - 1/12/2019 20:00

Picture game

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1362

You deserved it

1965

Favorite

Intimacy

Goodbye Bill

Ghosted

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By WTF - 3/12/2014 21:21 - United States - Conroe

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40009

You deserved it

3762

Favorite

By Jebus - 24/1/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9061

You deserved it

34625

Favorite

By soldierboy - 30/8/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks

141293

You deserved it

13643

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 02:38

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28063

You deserved it

2649

Favorite

By leah_kascar - 22/8/2016 01:45 - United States - Hialeah

Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16903

You deserved it

2343

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/1/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30198

You deserved it

47156

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/9/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10013

You deserved it

36990

Favorite

By rUs7up1d - 8/4/2015 14:43 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31920

You deserved it

2265

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 10:28 - United States - Richmond

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8446

You deserved it

63010

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/9/2017 19:34

Now I ain't saying she a gold digger...

Today, I was forced to sit silently through my 20-year-old daughter's wedding to a man who is 8 years older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3681

You deserved it

404

Favorite

By TooShort - 3/5/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54258

You deserved it

8532

Favorite

By nenette - 12/11/2014 22:50 - France

Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40616

You deserved it

3507

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43375

You deserved it

4686

Favorite

By Jesse - 22/6/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15753

You deserved it

84986

Favorite

By lobotomy pls - 11/9/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28215

You deserved it

4462

Favorite

By Hatty - 14/3/2010 10:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13614

You deserved it

23548

Favorite

By No Action Fighter - 22/8/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26102

You deserved it

3366

Favorite

By isuckatparking. seriously. - 16/1/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a hurry to get to my exams. I’m a new driver so my parking was a little crooked but I didn’t have time to fix it. I was expecting to come back to a note on my car. I wasn’t expecting three of my tires to be slashed and the words “I Suck At Parking” to be keyed into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2740

You deserved it

990

Favorite

By Anonyme - 29/1/2016 22:38 - China - Shanghai

Today, I'm doing an architecture course in China. My boss asked me to create a lamp shaped like a shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19260

You deserved it

2365

Favorite

By nocakeforyou! - 15/3/2011 13:11

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32089

You deserved it

14018

Favorite

By Cromwel620 - 23/2/2010 11:52 - United States

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22985

You deserved it

3201

Favorite

By Sam - 26/9/2011 11:46 - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11230

You deserved it

34861

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/6/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13303

You deserved it

41241

Favorite

By BubbaYoshi117 - 7/1/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

test light

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must have spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1339

You deserved it

1168

Favorite

By pottie69 - 7/9/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29561

You deserved it

7129

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/3/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4265

You deserved it

1632

Favorite

By avocadopurse - 9/7/2018 19:00

Today, I told my grandmother I was planning a trip to take my newborn son to meet his great-great-grandfather before it was too late. She had a guilty expression on her face. My great-grandfather died 4 months ago and my family forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4767

You deserved it

236

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 10:03 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29748

You deserved it

5135

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00

Wakey Wakey!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1438

You deserved it

169

Favorite

By cakefete2 - 4/7/2014 17:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was reviewing documents at work, only to find one of my coworkers has been signing off on paperwork, claiming he's been walking one of the residents daily. Aside from being a double leg amputee, the patient died two weeks ago. The state review board comes this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41156

You deserved it

3907

Favorite

By Nerrh - 12/3/2011 10:53 - Australia

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17176

You deserved it

33482

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/7/2013 14:26 - United States - Campbellsville

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57439

You deserved it

18673

Favorite

By moosemay - 19/1/2016 17:03 - Germany - Dittelbrunn

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22106

You deserved it

1495

Favorite

By norestforthewicked - 2/3/2016 20:41 - United States

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20211

You deserved it

1694

Favorite

By SwedishBozo - 15/3/2009 01:30 - United States

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32807

You deserved it

325605

Favorite

By TheHeirofTime - 15/8/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14151

You deserved it

1695

Favorite

By csor027 - 29/9/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34420

You deserved it

4591

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/3/2019 22:00

Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML

I agree, your life sucks

1923

You deserved it

142

Favorite

By dogwheels - 20/12/2011 11:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33736

You deserved it

2401

Favorite

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/6/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13712

You deserved it

753

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By shortasiangirl | 18

#7863591 - Sunday 1 December 2019 20:15

Did he say it had to be a picture of you? Respond with a photo of a untrimmed hedge!

By Helen Barrett | 3

#7863601 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:25

Send him a screenshot of a webpage explaining what a vagina is and he'll hopefully understand that you can't shave one! Or just dump the idiot. If he doesn't know what a vagina is do you really want him near yours?

COMMENTS

By shortasiangirl | 18

#7863591 - Sunday 1 December 2019 20:15

Did he say it had to be a picture of you? Respond with a photo of a untrimmed hedge!

By Helen Barrett | 3

#7863601 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:25

By Jackey | 29

#7863606 - Sunday 1 December 2019 21:56

Did you ask him if he shaved his? Because he sounds like a real twat.

By Susan Yee | 9

#7863613 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:12

Send a picture of a word of yes or no. Duh.

By juggalo2 | 12

#7863619 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:26

And you sent him a picture of a Maine Coon kitten. It would be adorable! What's the problem?

By pieter82 | 13

#7863620 - Sunday 1 December 2019 22:34

Still utterly flabbergasted how some 'relations' seem to be. How long are you together? He hasn't ever seen you naked?

bl3ur0z3 | 17

#7863866 - Monday 2 December 2019 19:54

He probably has, but he still wanted the picture.

tounces7 | 26

#7863943 - Tuesday 3 December 2019 4:43

If he's already seen her naked then I doubt a picture would be that big of a deal.

By Iamthebanzai22 | 18

#7863652 - Monday 2 December 2019 0:47

I think he wants to see your pussy.

By Matthew Irmen | 9

#7863662 - Monday 2 December 2019 1:36

You’ve got to be creative. Maybe a picture of a hairy cat or one of the hairless varieties could fill the bill. Make it fun not literal

By DaDezza244 | 31

#7863671 - Monday 2 December 2019 2:47

This is an old FML post...

By mfranks19891989 | 10

#7863673 - Monday 2 December 2019 3:18

He should know the answer to that already. Unless you haven’t had sex.