Intimacy: Secret sex - FML

Secret sex

By anonymous - 01/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 457

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 16/05/2014 21:07 - United States

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 417

You deserved it 10 008

By Anonymous - 12/04/2019 20:00

Today, I dreamt I had a secret admirer whom I met in person. She had red hair, a plus size body and a beautiful smile. This would've been great if it weren't for the fact I was a straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 387

By ac19k - 22/03/2016 02:34 - United States - Franklin

Today, I kept having dreams that I had made drunken snapchats. Those weren't just dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 331

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 046

You deserved it 9 043

What is wrong with my brain?

By slickrick22 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 843

You deserved it 4 018

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 679

Soft spot

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 16:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I dreamt about a girl I sort of knew. In the dream she confessed her feelings for me, and it was the first time anyone had ever confessed that sort of thing to me. When I woke up, I found myself falling for her. The experience reminded me of my romantic loneliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 150

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 154

Next

Top comments

Sagar Nair 11

Sunday 1 December 2019 16:37

So....was it a magical experience?

QueenSaru 28

Sunday 1 December 2019 18:06

I mean, if it was Jude Law era Dumbledore, no one blames you.

Comments

Sagar Nair 11

Sunday 1 December 2019 16:37

So....was it a magical experience?

adjwejaelwkdc 21

Sunday 1 December 2019 17:04

The wording is confusing. Did you have sex with Dumbledore more than once during a single dream, or did you have several separate dreams about sex with Dumbledore? Neither one is really an FML or a YDI. It's just a thing. Are you afraid that you're secretly turned on by older bearded men? Sex dreams aren't always sexy or titillating. If older bearded men turn you on, you would already know about it. And if they do, what's the big deal in it? Your personal turn-ons are your personal turn-ons. So what?

dozyrosy 1

Saturday 7 December 2019 6:07

they're probably just grossed out man

QueenSaru 28

Sunday 1 December 2019 18:06

I mean, if it was Jude Law era Dumbledore, no one blames you.

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 1 December 2019 22:13

With the young or old Dumbledore?

mfranks19891989 10

Monday 2 December 2019 3:18

Oh so it was you that killed him and not snape

LP13413 8

Monday 2 December 2019 4:46

Did he use his Elder Wand on you?

Mathalamus 24

Monday 2 December 2019 18:23

Well, that took a left turn.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 4 December 2019 2:22

You "Potterheads" are a bunch of freaks.

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 6 December 2019 10:03

you shall not pass!!

Adam Scully 7

Thursday 12 December 2019 2:14

Ten points to Gryffindor!!!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15-minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 415

You deserved it 13 196

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 180

You deserved it 2 083

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 555

You deserved it 5 487

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 099

You deserved it 6 209

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 346

You deserved it 3 432

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 137