Love: Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair...

By bojangles - 28/02/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 227

You deserved it 47 829

Love

BO Central

Triage

Walk on the wild side

Right place, wrong body

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 14:00

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 1 032

By unicornlovet - 23/02/2019 16:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I filled in for my absent pregnant co-worker like I have done since she went on disability a month ago, at the job I’ve been doing for 15 months. Today the replacement they hired also came to work, and I had to train her since she has more experience and got the maternity leave position over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 209

Compassion, brah

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 11:01

Today, I finally told my brother that I was being sexually harassed at work. I'm 22 and my brother is 41, and he literally told me that I don't even know what sexual harassment is, and then laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 99

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 187

By michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 6 929

One law for thee, another for me

By thanks a lot asshole - 26/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 324

The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one!

By zarko - 14/02/2017 14:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I created myself a Dropbox folder named "Traffic fines". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 274

You deserved it 5 549

By Anonymous - 01/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 718

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 24/02/2014 15:21 - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 51 777

By neverdoingthatagain - 27/02/2016 03:35 - United States - Pottstown

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 204

You deserved it 2 091

By Anonymous - 18/07/2014 23:06 - United States - Horseheads

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 817

You deserved it 11 239

By Not Gay - 09/06/2015 03:04 - United States - Williamston

Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 2 620

By ryjacs - 03/06/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 667

You deserved it 2 843

By BadDay - 20/09/2016 05:04 - Australia - Beerwah

Today, being a little stressed, I managed to lock my keys inside my car. I was taking this fairly calmly until, while waiting for roadside assistance, I overheard another woman in the same carpark say, "No, of course I didn't lock my keys in the car! I'm not a COMPLETE idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 810

You deserved it 1 310

By emancipate my ass - 24/07/2016 04:02

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 631

You deserved it 1 549

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 153

You deserved it 2 793

Fuck the patriarchy

By single not ready to mingle - 27/10/2020 18:02 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that we could keep dating, but he doesn’t see a future with me because I’m not a good submissive woman like his mother. His mother who’s been married four times for cheating on all her husbands. Yeah, good woman indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 20:36 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 5 376

By alaskan1989 - 22/01/2011 01:27 - United States

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 311

You deserved it 9 901

By anonymous - 14/01/2012 11:42 - Australia

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 602

You deserved it 3 620

Saboteur!

By Juancames3 - 23/05/2018 01:30

Today, after spending all night packing for my 5am flight to Brazil, my cat peed all over my open suitcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 620

You deserved it 695

By lonely one - 14/09/2012 10:17 - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 011

By Rob - 09/10/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 957

You deserved it 6 985

By Rory - 23/07/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 367

You deserved it 4 794

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 335

You deserved it 4 448

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 340

You deserved it 19 694

By MrDanito - 28/04/2016 06:21 - Czech Republic - Lysa Nad Labem

Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 431

You deserved it 1 639

By Mandy - 22/12/2014 21:36 - United States - Tampa

Today, I got in trouble for going to work sick. Yesterday, I got in trouble for not going to work while sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 219

You deserved it 2 422

Family matters

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 16:56

Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 73

Pissed

By pl. - 03/06/2021 21:59

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 136

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 469

You deserved it 2 780

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 529

You deserved it 35 650

Miracles

By smyp - 24/12/2015 17:34 - Lithuania

Today, my wife and I decided to celebrate Christmas Eve with her side of the family. When we arrived at her parents' house, I heard her mother say that Christmas miracles don't exist since my wife brought me along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 166

You deserved it 1 593

By Unemployed - 03/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I checked my email for the hundredth time, hoping to hear back from a potential employer about a job I really want. No response. Why? My email with resume attached has been sitting in my Outbox for the past week. I never actually sent it out in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 888

You deserved it 39 068

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 23:03

Today, I found out that the reason I have unbearable pain in my stomach when I sit down is because I have 2 horrifyingly large boils on my waist. My mother nearly fainted when I showed them to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 25/12/2015 17:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was fitting an elderly gentleman for a suit, he muttered all too loudly that he'd give his left nut for a reacharound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 934

You deserved it 1 413

By kibblegirl - 06/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 263

By Hellasboy - 01/08/2015 16:56 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, driving to work, I stop to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honks their horn, so I decide to drive slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pull into the car park and notice the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 361

You deserved it 6 679

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 16:34

Today, my 7-year-old learned "Smoke Weed Everyday" from YouTube, and has repeated it so many times that I'm now singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 419

By will3000 - 12/01/2011 13:28

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 478

You deserved it 4 222

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you_suck 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:01

I wouldn't shave just for some bitch

Abnegate 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:48

Maybe if you'd showed a little tact, he'd have spared your feelings.

you_suck 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:01

I wouldn't shave just for some bitch

0___0 9

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:09

lol I agree with #3 i'm glad i'm not a hairy person lol AND A GIRL 0-0

jSOPURE 3

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:21

Under your nose should do the trick. ;)

Abnegate 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:48

Maybe if you'd showed a little tact, he'd have spared your feelings.

reallytho3 11

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Sunday 7 August 2011 3:29

Op was put on BLAST lol

King_of_Kings 3

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Saturday 28 February 2009 12:51

i think its time to go to the salon and get your upper lip waxed.

suyci 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 13:05

he just doesnt dare to shave.. xD

yougotboyed 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 15:16

you had it coming

thebaroness1984 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 15:27

Why is everyone so mean to her? I don't like facial hair either, and sometimes I tell my boyfriends I don't like it. What's the big deal?

Symmetry88 0

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Sunday 30 October 2011 17:37

Boyfriends? More then one? Wow.... JK! My boyfriend shaves everyday because I hate facial hair!

Nederlander95 14

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Friday 13 December 2013 5:11

She has facial hair...

fgsfds 3

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Saturday 28 February 2009 15:43

Agree with Number 7.

jsryan25 0

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Saturday 28 February 2009 15:53

girl u need to get your shave on 1st, don't be a hip-a-crit

OBTrice 15

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Friday 23 May 2014 1:42

*Hypocrite

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 32

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 146

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