Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one...

By haggisbowl - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

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Intimacy

Proactive

Forever the bridesmaid

Sounds like a catch

By staciefacecat

Today, my drunk boyfriend flipped out and told me I was a total control freak, and that he couldn't handle how weird and clingy I am. All I did was ask if his phone was charged. FML

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13986

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By buttpicker - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

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43351

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By Anonymous

Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML

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2242

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By rbates - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

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13739

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By ChildhoodTerror

Today, my cousin left her undisciplined demon-child at my house for Christmas. This child destroyed the other children's gifts and made so much noise that the neighbors called the police. The adults can't really discipline her while her mother is away, so all we can do is apologize in this child's wake. FML

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9484

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By Anonymous - United States - Tualatin

Today, I completed my two-month internship, where I have been working as hard as I could with the hope of being hired. My boss couldn't remember my name, and declined to be a reference. FML

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20541

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

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25515

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By cap - 9/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Last trip

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

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By HereForJAMMF

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

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By mississpissi - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

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26926

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By TLJ321

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

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By spaaaarta

Today, I was washing my car, I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

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By frankrizzo - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

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41927

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By 1378 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

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21085

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She came over to see me one last time. We hugged for minutes and cried; it was a touching moment. Just after she left, I realized my wallet that I had on the table beside us was gone. FML

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40499

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By dumbbb - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

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10238

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Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML

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2179

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By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

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52632

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15217

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By jackelking - United States

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

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By Gem - Australia

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

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By Biggest Jerk - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

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17765

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By therapygal

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

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2600

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By KateD - United States

Today, I was walking through the mall with my husband. We came across a guy who was selling some weight loss pills. He tried to sell me some and I kindly declined. He told me not to deny my weight problems. Thanks. I'm 7 months pregnant. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

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By theuglyone - Canada - Port Perry

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

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45028

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By Anonymous - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

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37569

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By hippie88 - United States - New York

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Today, I figured out why I've used triple the amount of cellphone minutes than I usually do over the past month since moving out. Is it because I suddenly have a social life now that I'm living on my own? No. All those calls were made to my mom because I'm lonely. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML

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22265

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By Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard - United States

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

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56159

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By Sleepy - United States

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

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7539

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

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By AZW

Today, I have come to realise that my brother's fling is at a higher priority to my parents than me, their own flesh and blood. FML

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1890

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By Lord Buttfuck IV - France

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

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26652

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By annoyed - Netherlands - Maastricht

Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML

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By markyvilla - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

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28772

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By notasgood - United States

All in the family

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

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39351

You deserved it

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By Anonymous

Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML

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By pontwa - Australia

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

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30085

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By sailinggsoul

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

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1808

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Top comments

By ant2590 | 6

#3882089 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

So I'm guessing the game ended there

By JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3882092 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Really?... You didn't see that one coming?

COMMENTS

By ant2590 | 6

#3882089 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

So I'm guessing the game ended there

EvilPotato | 14

#3882167 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:19

Well. Did you answer?

Keyman1212 | 14

#3882192 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:26

I would have answered with a photo of blue waffle, but then I'd be forever alone girl -_-

Pentium_4 | 26

#3882242 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:39

if it is shaved, you're golden. depends how long you've been going out. when you've been going out for a long time, that's a fair question

themkane | 0

#3882569 - Saturday 14 January 2012 14:45

Haha lucky him :)

RochelleRedvines | 8

#3882788 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:51

Send him a picture of the word YES or NO. Problem solved!

insertnameherr | 11

#3883071 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:35

send a picture of a razor!

The_Plagiarizer | 4

#3883206 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:55

He's a genius.

ImInYourFACEbook | 8

#3884229 - Saturday 14 January 2012 20:54

I would of shown him a picture of Chewbacca then winked. ;)

G0v3nat0r | 7

#3886205 - Sunday 15 January 2012 6:05

65 - I agree, right down "yes" or "no" and send him a picture of that, see how mad he gets

juliajealousyy | 1

#3886336 - Sunday 15 January 2012 6:57

You should of sent him a picture of your dog. And then say no.
:)

xXEmoEscapeXx | 8

#3887477 - Sunday 15 January 2012 13:05

I would have sent him a picture of a hairless cat.....

joeytheman | 10

#3891577 - Monday 16 January 2012 7:17

Well? Did you answer?

By bellaj67 | 4

#3882090 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Awks as...

leogirl95 | 12

#3882683 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:27

Huh?

npnptracking | 7

#3882860 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:06

Awkward ass?

NippsSlipps | 10

#3883033 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:29

Awkward as?

ScaughtieHolden | 11

#3883213 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:56

Awkward as f***

RyanMcManus | 0

#3893672 - Monday 16 January 2012 17:03

What did you draw?

By JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3882092 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Really?... You didn't see that one coming?

mrszane93 | 5

#3882285 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:51

Irk. That's funny. I'm sure he brought the game up on purpose.

AddeU | 0

#3882565 - Saturday 14 January 2012 14:45

No he didn't!

Llama_Face89 | 33

#3882626 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:09

30- of course he didn't! It was totally an accident!

sunsetsbetween56 | 3

#3882636 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:14

I actually didn't I thought it was going to be something about cheating

DreBaby215 | 0

#3883021 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:27

Wow. Do you have a [email protected] OhSoLovely

JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3883103 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:37

...yes. I do not however give it out.

mrszane93 | 5

#3883843 - Saturday 14 January 2012 19:42

I'm not retarded. It was obvious sarcasm.

TheHOSShaha | 0

#4123784 - Monday 5 March 2012 15:30

Sorry to correct you, but it's "see that one cuming?" haha

diver7777 | 0

#4589568 - Wednesday 20 June 2012 6:11

I did!

By aFreedom127 | 9

#3882095 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Tell him he'll find out soon enough!

22cute | 17

#4235848 - Friday 30 March 2012 4:42

Tell him you can shave your pines, or shave your pussy but there is no hair on your vagina and it is internal so it's unsafe and pointless to shave it. Basic 5th grade anatomy

stolencookie | 17

#5151542 - Thursday 15 November 2012 7:29

Why would he find out soon enough? You don't HAVE to sleep with someone right away just because you're dating, especially if they try creepy (albeit clever) shit like that. People sometimes break up before having sex.

By ICATiger | 13

#3882099 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:09

Ask him as ever even seen a vagina

ICATiger | 13

#3882112 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:11

*has he

cyrusyoman | 5

#3882805 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:55

thank you the island

j_cat187 | 19

#3884203 - Saturday 14 January 2012 20:45

*Bf visits a porn site to show his gf.

By Pentium_4 | 26

#3882114 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:11

reasonable question

ICATiger | 13

#3882125 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:13

Wonder did she answer it....

Pentium_4 | 26

#3882215 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:32

i'm scared to know, cause it could be a beautiful shaved vagina or an insanely bushy one

mrszane93 | 5

#3882297 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:56

Haha funny

Pentium_4 | 26

#3883845 - Saturday 14 January 2012 19:42

i have. hairy is scary

MerrikBarbarian | 9

#3888254 - Sunday 15 January 2012 18:20

So I can take that to mean you shave as well pentium4? I mean if it's so scary to have body hair. If you are muff diving with a tounge ring, shaving is a valid concern. Otherwise it's just your own issues