Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one...

By haggisbowl - 14/1/2012 06:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

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Intimacy

White line fever

Rich people problems

Hello everyone!

By stelno - 18/6/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

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By pmek - 26/3/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

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By claustrophobic - 4/5/2016 19:03 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I have been in my "office" for 6 weeks. It is literally a closet. I was reminded of this fact when a janitor walked in without knocking, carrying empty boxes he intended to store. FML

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By elena02 - 21/11/2015 19:45 - United States - Wayne

Today, my house is so cold that I chipped a tooth from chattering so hard. FML

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By Arthur - 7/5/2014 19:16 - United States

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

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By Madokami - 30/1/2017 11:37 - United States - Kingston

Today, a customer became irrationally angry and called me a "stupid bitch", all because she couldn't use the coupon clearly marked "30% off grocery items" on a prescription from our pharmacy. FML

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By SetoAyumi - 15/11/2011 08:40 - United States

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

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By HarleyGirl - 25/4/2017 18:00 - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

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By cold-n-stinky - 12/1/2010 06:30 - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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By fmlimoverit - 12/9/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/1/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

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By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

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By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

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By loner - 12/2/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

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By John - 2/11/2012 04:13 - United States

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

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By HappyBirthday - 28/5/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML

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By Reena - 19/8/2011 06:38 - Canada

Today, I got woken up by a text from an unknown number at 3 am saying, "haha I found your number." I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. After hours of trying to fall asleep, my drowsiness was disturbed by another text from the same person saying, "Sorry, wrong number." FML

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By jackpot - 9/5/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

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By Noname - 18/1/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

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By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - 1/6/2017 15:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving up to a Four Seasons, not to stay, but to attend a work event that was already paid for. I did look a little out of place in my Toyota Corolla amongst the luxury SUVs, but was nonplussed when a man came up to me, knocked on my window, and said, "The Motel 6 is over there." FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 12:12 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

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By CharlieKearney - 10/1/2016 23:33 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, the guy I made out with on New Year's Eve finally called me. Too bad it was to blame me for the picture of us which someone had sent to his girlfriend. I never took a picture, and had no idea he was in a relationship. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/9/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

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By Igor - 19/12/2012 05:16 - United States - Lansdale

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

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By rkl2010 - 23/5/2010 18:02 - United States

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

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By zawbentley - 26/9/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

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By Jaggu - 29/4/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, I ran into an old friend from college on the bus to work. Having not seen each other in over 10 years, we spent a good 15 minutes talking about our lives after college. At the end, he asked me what my name was. FML

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By Forever Alone - 14/6/2016 09:26

Today, I was talking to my mum about how I'd quite like to have kids someday. She responded: "Well, nowadays they let singles adopt as well, don't they?" FML

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By fish killer - 25/3/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/9/2018 01:30

Today, I was called a "disabled buzzkill" for not letting someone pet my service dog. FML

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By MrRadin - 4/12/2015 05:31 - France

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

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By Mikey - 28/4/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

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By motorboatofdoom - 30/3/2020 05:00

Nice way to go, really

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

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By wow - 27/11/2019 05:00 - United States - Portland

Good shot

Today, for the first time in months, my best friend agreed to hang out with me. After waiting, three hours for him to show up, I called to see what was taking him so long. He told me he couldn't come because he needed to get a haircut. FML

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By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 00:18 - United States

Today, I found out my grandpa died. As I rushed home crying to comfort my parents, I got pulled over for speeding. The officer told me to cut out the "fake" tears". When I told him my grandpa just died he tacked on another $100 for lying to an officer. Worst. Christmas. Ever. FML

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By "penne_pasta580802" - 23/1/2020 14:00

Ultimately

Today, I decided to take my car to work as I had some errands to do after. I only live a few blocks away. After driving round to find a car park for ages, the closest car park available was outside my house. I ended up walking to work instead. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/5/2020 14:00

Sharing is caring

Today, nine months after changing my entire life when my father had a stroke and I became his carer full time, I called my sister to talk about some his irrational behavior. All I got in response was, "I just watched a sad movie, I can't deal with this right now." FML

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By fs - 23/11/2013 23:45 - United States - Northfield

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

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Top comments

By ant2590 | 6

#3882089 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

So I'm guessing the game ended there

By JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3882092 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Really?... You didn't see that one coming?

Comments

By ant2590 | 6

#3882089 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

So I'm guessing the game ended there

EvilPotato | 14

#3882167 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:19

Well. Did you answer?

Keyman1212 | 14

#3882192 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:26

I would have answered with a photo of blue waffle, but then I'd be forever alone girl -_-

Pentium_4 | 26

#3882242 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:39

if it is shaved, you're golden. depends how long you've been going out. when you've been going out for a long time, that's a fair question

themkane | 0

#3882569 - Saturday 14 January 2012 14:45

Haha lucky him :)

RochelleRedvines | 8

#3882788 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:51

Send him a picture of the word YES or NO. Problem solved!

insertnameherr | 11

#3883071 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:35

send a picture of a razor!

The_Plagiarizer | 4

#3883206 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:55

He's a genius.

ImInYourFACEbook | 8

#3884229 - Saturday 14 January 2012 20:54

I would of shown him a picture of Chewbacca then winked. ;)

G0v3nat0r | 7

#3886205 - Sunday 15 January 2012 6:05

65 - I agree, right down "yes" or "no" and send him a picture of that, see how mad he gets

juliajealousyy | 1

#3886336 - Sunday 15 January 2012 6:57

You should of sent him a picture of your dog. And then say no.
:)

xXEmoEscapeXx | 8

#3887477 - Sunday 15 January 2012 13:05

I would have sent him a picture of a hairless cat.....

joeytheman | 10

#3891577 - Monday 16 January 2012 7:17

Well? Did you answer?

By bellaj67 | 4

#3882090 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Awks as...

leogirl95 | 12

#3882683 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:27

Huh?

npnptracking | 7

#3882860 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:06

Awkward ass?

NippsSlipps | 10

#3883033 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:29

Awkward as?

ScaughtieHolden | 11

#3883213 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:56

Awkward as f***

RyanMcManus | 0

#3893672 - Monday 16 January 2012 17:03

What did you draw?

By JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3882092 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Really?... You didn't see that one coming?

mrszane93 | 5

#3882285 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:51

Irk. That's funny. I'm sure he brought the game up on purpose.

AddeU | 0

#3882565 - Saturday 14 January 2012 14:45

No he didn't!

Llama_Face89 | 33

#3882626 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:09

30- of course he didn't! It was totally an accident!

sunsetsbetween56 | 3

#3882636 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:14

I actually didn't I thought it was going to be something about cheating

DreBaby215 | 0

#3883021 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:27

Wow. Do you have a [email protected] OhSoLovely

JustOhSoLovely | 6

#3883103 - Saturday 14 January 2012 16:37

...yes. I do not however give it out.

mrszane93 | 5

#3883843 - Saturday 14 January 2012 19:42

I'm not retarded. It was obvious sarcasm.

TheHOSShaha | 0

#4123784 - Monday 5 March 2012 15:30

Sorry to correct you, but it's "see that one cuming?" haha

diver7777 | 0

#4589568 - Wednesday 20 June 2012 6:11

I did!

By aFreedom127 | 9

#3882095 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:08

Tell him he'll find out soon enough!

22cute | 17

#4235848 - Friday 30 March 2012 4:42

Tell him you can shave your pines, or shave your pussy but there is no hair on your vagina and it is internal so it's unsafe and pointless to shave it. Basic 5th grade anatomy

stolencookie | 17

#5151542 - Thursday 15 November 2012 7:29

Why would he find out soon enough? You don't HAVE to sleep with someone right away just because you're dating, especially if they try creepy (albeit clever) shit like that. People sometimes break up before having sex.

By ICATiger | 13

#3882099 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:09

Ask him as ever even seen a vagina

ICATiger | 13

#3882112 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:11

*has he

cyrusyoman | 5

#3882805 - Saturday 14 January 2012 15:55

thank you the island

j_cat187 | 19

#3884203 - Saturday 14 January 2012 20:45

*Bf visits a porn site to show his gf.

By Pentium_4 | 26

#3882114 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:11

reasonable question

ICATiger | 13

#3882125 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:13

Wonder did she answer it....

Pentium_4 | 26

#3882215 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:32

i'm scared to know, cause it could be a beautiful shaved vagina or an insanely bushy one

mrszane93 | 5

#3882297 - Saturday 14 January 2012 12:56

Haha funny

Pentium_4 | 26

#3883845 - Saturday 14 January 2012 19:42

i have. hairy is scary

MerrikBarbarian | 9

#3888254 - Sunday 15 January 2012 18:20

So I can take that to mean you shave as well pentium4? I mean if it's so scary to have body hair. If you are muff diving with a tounge ring, shaving is a valid concern. Otherwise it's just your own issues